Home Love & Relationships Well, Maybe You Should Just Stay Single!

Well, Maybe You Should Just Stay Single!


It seems like February is upon us and everybody is going crazy over Valentine’s day. People tend to fall victims to the whole economic “romantic propaganda” buying gifts in order to show affection on that exact holy day as if 365 days in a year aren’t meant for doing the same.

Young single girls secretly feeling vulnerable and faulty, while they’re covering their need for actual “togetherness” so they don’t appear needy.

However, only a few rare ones manage to escape far away from the pressure this society is creating, so hear me now!

Feeling frustrated about Valentine’s day doesn’t make you stupid, resentful or a fool for the Hallmark industry.

I know Valentine rants are almost as cliché as the chocolate hearts-and-teddy bears-and flowers parade, however…

I believe it is time for some real, eye-opening talk.

Being single is okay. It’s actually way better than okay. I personally believe that being single it’s perfectly fine. Women, don’t fall into despair if you’re at a point in your life where it seems like you are left alone. You are not.

Two years ago, I went through a life-changing drama which resulted in me ending my long-lasting relationship. I managed to survive a period which was truly difficult for me. I was single after a long time and I felt as if I had forgotten how to live.

I thought I was lost. I was sad and unfulfilled even though I had a life full of beautiful, kind people, a nice job and interesting adventures ahead.

However, shortly after the pain retreated I felt what it truly meant to be a free human being without having a man who would try to hold me back or squash me down whenever he feels like it.

There was a whole world in front of me which was a lot different now that I was free to fly my own wings.

Looking back at this transition, I can honestly say that staying single for that period of time was one of the best decisions I have ever made. In terms of my career, my life itself and all the valuable lessons I’ve learned about self-care and interpersonal relationships.

You see, after that disastrous collapse which was essential to start living my life properly I still don’t believe that being in a relationship/marriage is the final destination. It shouldn’t be!

I’ve never wanted a “happy ending”. More specifically, I’ve never settled for an ending.

Why should my life end the second I find a man who seems to meet my needs and preferences?

I’m still in my twenties, damn it. There’s still a looong life full of work, creativity, and endless adventures.

That’s why I stand firmly that being single is the right choice for you ladies. Spent time with yourself, discover your world, work on your passion!

Nothing frustrates me more than seeing young women at the very beginning of their life deciding to waste their precious years nurturing unappreciative, childish, and disrespectful men who only search for a 24/7 housekeeper, mother, and a sex partner.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to shame a person’s choice. If you’ve found a kind-hearted, loving, decent and progressive man, I’m happy for you. But, girls, don’t do the mistake to go for it just because of the sheer fear of being alone.

Isn’t there more to life than paying bills, making dinner and procreating?

All I’m saying is that there is myriad of things that are a lot worse than being single in today’s modern patriarchy.

Unfortunately, nowadays, we as women are still taught that we have somehow failed in life if we’re single and not loved by a man. We should prioritize men’s romantic approval while young men are practically struggling to even picture a world where women have other priorities as well.

The thing is, in order to win their approval, we’re expected to lessen our power in every aspect of life. We’re expected to downplay our intelligence, we are supposed to be worried if our financial and professional success goes far beyond our partner’s achievements.

Yes, we can be creative and hard-working, but never more than the men in our life. Because that’s the point where they feel threatened. And, that’s a “problem” you need to resolve, you know?

The ugly truth and conclusion are that men in their twenties haven’t learned the proper way to treat a woman, and some of them will never do. And as it is their own fault, it is also society’s responsibility.

However, I believe there are still some fine, decent and young unicorns also known as male individuals who are searching for that particular equality in a relationship. If you are a lucky girl to have already met some of them, that’s great.

But if you still haven’t, it’s still great. There’s always room for plan B. And believe me, there’s nothing wrong with you. You have a whole life ahead of you.

Saying no to relationships and make-believe, pretended “togetherness” just for the sake of not ending up alone is not rejecting love. On the contrary, it means you’ll never settle for less than you deserve. It means you need that true, genuine love, whenever it happens.

And NO, deciding to dedicate your precious, young years to soul-searching and hardworking is not selfish. There are many different possibilities for a life of love and adventures, and you shouldn’t throw that away.

In the end, we should all make sure to live a life we’re happy with because the human value will never depend on being someone’s girlfriend.

We have to go out and save the world ourselves!

Stephanie Reeds


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