When I look back at our time together, I can’t help but feel a sense of loss and longing. I remember how I was always telling you how I cannot imagine living my life without you. I remember all the inside jokes we had, all the laughs we shared, all the kisses, the sleepless nights… All the memories.
In nights like this, everything comes back to me. I remember every moment with you as if it was yesterday. Because, how can one forget someone who had such an integral role in their life? How can one forget their soulmate and move on with their life as if nothing has happened?
I am sure that I will never forget you. You will always be the person I secretly write about. You will always be someone who changed me to the core.
You will always be the best thing I had to let go.
But we had no choice. Our differences and the intensity of our relationship got the best of us and we had to free ourselves from the situation before we started hating each other.
And maybe it’s for the best. Maybe the Universe has something better planned for us. Maybe we needed to have this experience together, falling in love with each other, going our separate ways and having our hearts broken before we meet the person we are meant to be with.
I try to think this way no matter how heart-wrenching it is. It is extremely hard for me to let you go and convince myself that we are no longer together and that we will never be.
Maybe we met at the wrong time, maybe we just weren’t ready for a stable and committed relationship even though we deeply wanted to happen. You are a good person, I know you never wanted to hurt me. I know… You will be a wonderful partner to some lucky girl. I am sad but I wish you all the best, you know I do.
I cut you off because I must heal and having you in my life won’t help me do it. That’s why I walked away.
Because deep in my heart, I know that I’ll find my way again. I’ve always been strong enough to pick myself up quickly after breaking into tiny pieces. I will be strong this time again. I have to be. This time for me.
I want to be whole and healed when the Universe decides to bring a new person in my life. Someone who will love me better than you did. Someone with whom I’ll be happier.
I want to get my heart prepared for love again because it wouldn’t be fair to the new person if I still have feelings for you.
And when I am done with my healing process, when my heart is complete and ready for love, I will find my happiness again in someone else’s arms. And start believing again…