Home Stories We All Grieve Differently, So Stop Judging How People Cope With Their...

We All Grieve Differently, So Stop Judging How People Cope With Their Pain


Loss. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it.

There is only the gut-wrenching, life-changing experience and your reaction to it. Your own choice to cry for days, isolate yourself from all the people, leave town for months, quit your job, give yourself a break from reality, shout, scream, and do whatever the hell makes you feel better or simply, takes the pain away if only just a couple of minutes.

Your own decision to cope with all the madness in a way that suits you.

So, when someone tells you that you are overreacting, or that you are too emotional, or even worse, that they too have been through such a pain, but didn’t express it the way you do, ignore them. Ignore them completely, because they cannot possibly know how it feels to be inside your skin. They have no idea how much it hurts and they will never ever understand your pain. Just as you won’t ever understand theirs.

Your way of grieving is your own reaction. It’s the result of how you feel deep inside. It is a by-product of all of those emotions you’ve buried for years. It is who you are. And it’s your own right. To do as you please without being judged by others.

We all grieve differently. And judging other people’s process just because you was very different than theirs is not a cool thing to do. It’s rude, disrespectful, and very inconsiderate of people’s feelings.

So, let’s just stop. Let’s stop trying to sound smarter. Let’s stop telling people how they should feel. Let’s stop thinking that our way is the right way. Let us all just take a break from always being right and empathize with people who feel bad. Instead of rushing to give them advice, let us be silent and listen to what they have to say. Let us be their shoulder to cry on, their unconditional support, their guidance.

And if we cannot be that for them, then let us stay away.

For they deserve to do whatever it takes to release themselves from the pain that they are going through. And no one, not even you have the right to criticize their way of handling their struggles or judge their healing process.

We all grieve differently, we all experience loss in our own ways…But in the end, we are very much alike. We all want the same things in life.

We all want to find happiness and feel loved once again. We all want to wake up in the morning without a worry on our minds. We all want to heal and smile again. We all want to see this world through rose-colored lenses. We all have our own stories to tell. And our own dreams to chase. Ultimately, we all deserve to heal and carry on with our lives.

So, let us be kind to one another. For everyone you know is fighting their own battle. Being supportive of their journey is the least you can do for them.

Stephanie Reeds