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True Awakenings Are Not Silent And Elegant. They Are Raw, Painful, And Ugly

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You know how it is in the movies where the protagonist experiences an awakening one day and decides to change their life to the core. Suddenly, their life magically improves: they get a new job, mend their broken relationship with their parents, move to their dream home with their perfect partner and live happily ever after.

Okay, reality check! True awakenings don’t happen like that. True awakenings are messy, painful, raw, and ugly. With true awakenings, there is a lot of pain and suffering. There is a lot of crying. There is fear, doubt, and worrying. There are questions that are never answered. There is a constant wondering whether someone else feels this way and if so, why aren’t they speaking up?

True awakenings feel like someone dismantled your heart and then quickly put the pieces back together. It feels as if there is a war inside of you and you are caught in the middle – between the person you are and the person you want to be. It feels as if one moment you are on cloud 9 and the next you are falling to an abyss.

However, then, something happens. A ray of hope. A warm feeling in your body that urges you to change because you matter, and you deserve to accomplish everything you want. Then you surrender. You start healing first, which is not easy. You soften. You lose your edges.

You are torn open. Exposed. Everything is out: your fears, dreams, secrets, unanswered questions, hidden desires, words you never said… It’s like you are in front of a mirror that exposes your ugliest but most real self.

Of course, true awakenings like this don’t just happen to anyone. They only happen to the strong ones. Because true awakenings happen with a goal – to get us there. To get us there to our destined place. To the place of peace, love, harmony, and wisdom. To help us learn to accept ourselves and others. To make us believe in ourselves and our power. To glue all the broken pieces within us and make us glow even brighter.

When we arrive at that place we can no longer lie to ourselves. We can no longer make excuses. Rather, we will start believing that we deserve all the good things and good people around us.

Mary Wright