Drive me to the dentist. Take me to the mall. Come with me tomorrow, I don’t want to go by myself.
Does this sound familiar? Because that’s what toxic friends do.
They have endless requests, and you have to do them all.
If you refuse, they will start guilt-tripping you, saying something like I had to drive myself to the supermarket because you wouldn’t and I had a car accident. It’s your fault! Had you been a better friend, none of this would have happened.
This stems from the fact that they feel entitled to special treatment. They manipulate and lie and want people to dance to the tune they play.
They just cannot stand being neglected even for a second and don’t care if you have kids waiting at home or if you don’t have the time and the energy to play their personal driver whenever it pleases them.
Love seems to be another problem. If you start dating, toxic friends will feel threatened by that person thinking they will steal you away.
So, it should come as no surprise if they say that your new boyfriend or girlfriend is bad for you, that you should break up with them, or even go as far as saying: Since you started dating, you make no time for me, or If you don’t break up with him/her, we are not friends anymore!
How to deal with toxic friends?
It’s important to understand that you cannot win with these people. They manipulate, they lie, they trick you into serving them and doing what they want.
If you stand up for yourself, they’ll understand that as a sign of rebellion, as a war. Their colossal egos will go off bursting into pieces like a watermelon on concrete and they will start planning an act of revenge.
Toxic friends cannot accept constructive criticism, they understand it as an attack, so they fight back. If they cannot win, they will start saying mean things to other people about you. They will control the image of you; how other people perceive you.
You may even get texts where they insult you or blame you for everything.
Hence, it’s best to just let them go. If you don’t, they’ll squeeze so hard around your freedom and positivity, you’ll want to move to a different city or deactivate all your social media accounts.
Go no contact or distance yourself and through time, they will be forced to find a new victim once they realize you no longer pay any attention to them.
Trying to talk sense into them will be counter-effective; this way at least you’ll have peace of mind and you won’t have to go through life waiting for their revenge and toxicity.
Going cold turkey or distancing yourself will bore them out. That way their egos will not be smashed and you can break free.