Hey, you – the woman who always falls for emotionally unavailable men…
I am you. I know how you feel. I too have had my fair share of guys who were only looking for one-night stands and affairs. Crazy psychos who were sending me dick pictures before even introducing themselves. Or, extremely needy guys who were ready to marry me after our second date.
In this crazy, weird world, it seems that it is getting more and more difficult to find a nice, genuine, and loyal partner.
Of course, I’ve met some nice guys too. But I’ve turned them down because I was not feeling ‘the spark’ with them even though they were very interested in getting to know me. I never gave them a decent chance to date me, thus I never really realized that perhaps they were the ones who would have given me all the love and respect I long for.
They were always understanding of my lame excuses for canceling our date. They were the ones that never gave up on me. But I let them go without knowing that I was sabotaging myself.
I know emotionally unavailable men attract you. The ones who would give you their full attention and flirt with you for two hours straight and then go MIA the next four days only to reappear back in your life giving you bullshit excuses.
And you are after those guys. Those guys who refuse to be tied down, who fear monogamy and commitment more than anything, who are terrified of missing out on another woman. I get it. I know how you feel because I was in the exact same position as you.
I was always falling in love with the ones with deep issues and insecurities that were hidden behind their alpha male behavior. These men regardless of their lack of self-confidence were still shining like the shiniest objects. And I happened to love glitter.
I failed to realize that I was the one with commitment issues. I was the one who was always picking the emotionally unavailable men because I have been emotionally unavailable myself. I was just looking for someone to mirror me.
I was only hiding behind a façade of independence, strength, and confidence – not allowing anyone near my heart. I was so terribly scared of commitment that I was always sabotaging my relationships and running away as soon as they started getting more serious.
I was doing this unconsciously. Because my fight-or-flight system was influencing my behavior. Because it was safer for my heart that way.
I was so terribly burned in the past that I was so fucking afraid of getting my heart on fire again.
I know the pain. I know the struggle. But the sooner you realize that you are standing on the way of your happiness, then maybe you’ll give a chance to the nice guy who is courting you for months. And maybe it will turn to something beautiful and everlasting.
The moment you decide to stop giving chances to fuckboys, you’ll see the beauty of being in a healthy, loving, and stable relationship with a man who cares about you and makes you happy.