Maybe it was all a part of my imagination. Maybe I wanted you so badly that I fantasized about us being together in a loving and committed relationship one day, even though all the signs were cautioning me to walk away. You always had excuses. But I loved you and I hoped one day you’d love me back.
Sometimes, I was telling myself that the timing wasn’t right even though I always believed that when you are with the right person the timing wouldn’t matter. I believed in us even though I was the last person on your priority list. You ignored most of my texts and calls, you were breaking all the promises. And yet, I still fooled myself into thinking that your late-night ‘I miss you’ texts were honest.
And then, I saw your wedding pictures with a person that wasn’t me. My heart broke into pieces. The pain was unbearable. All of these years I was hoping you’d choose me one day. But now I know, that all the times you were busy and all the times you were ignoring me were because you had someone else. You were busy going out with them. You were busy answering their texts and calls. Suddenly, in the home I thought I was building, I became the homewrecker.
It took everything in me to let you go and forgive you. But I knew you wouldn’t let me go just like that. As if I didn’t have enough. As if the pain I was feeling wasn’t enough. So, from time to time, you’d “check-in” to see what I was doing. You knew that I still trembled whenever I saw your name on my screen. You were doing that on purpose.
You had a power over me until I met someone else. Someone who wanted to see me and answer my texts. Someone who valued me and treated me with love and respect. Someone to whom I was good enough.
Now, I am finally free. I can look at your pictures without feeling anything but happiness. I am happy for you and me. I am happy that we’ve both found someone who is meant for us. I hope you are happy too.
So, here’s to you – the person I thought I’ll never forget and get over. Perhaps at one point in time, we were perfect for each other. Or perhaps we never were. However, I did feel good knowing that you were a part of me. And now, the liberating feeling of knowing that I am finally over you feels even better.