“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
This is a quote that is attributed to Marilyn Monroe, but it is also a phrase that is typical for emotionally immature men. It is an extremely narcissistic phrase that excuses all types of bad behavior on the justification that if you love someone, you should love them no matter what.
And sure, at the beginning of a relationship, everyone tries to present themselves in the best light possible. And it can be really difficult to see how mature a man is during those beginning stages.
A few months should pass until you start seeing his true colors and his unwillingness to change himself and his behavior – and this will leave a bitter taste in your mouth. You’ll start feeling devastated and hurt.
But, you can protect yourself from the pain if you learn how to recognize the emotionally immature man from the beginning. Here are some common types of emotionally immature men that you should stay away from.
This guy dwells around people who are in difficult situations. He wants to be their protector because helping them, he forgets about his own problems. He wants a woman that will be needy and desperate for his love and attention. He will then start mending her broken heart and kissing her wounds only because he is trying to escape from himself and his own misery.
And what will happen when she doesn’t need him to help her anymore? He is broken and in a worse state than he was before. You can’t expect this guy to love you because he doesn’t even love himself. He spends his life running away from problems, so don’t expect him to solve anything that would come up in your relationship.
THE MAMA’S BOY
I am sure that we all know a guy like this. The most important person in his life is his mother. This is not exactly bad per se, but he keeps comparing her to all women he meets and somehow no woman is ever good enough.
Whatever you do, you will never be better than his mother. Moreover, if his mother doesn’t approve you – forget it. Even if you two happen to be in a relationship, be prepared for the fact that his mother will be the one who is running your relationship.
THE TROUBLED NARCISSIST
This guy gains his confidence from his arrogance. He only feels happy and important when everyone admires him and caters to his needs. And underneath this need for attention lies an immature and insecure guy who refuses to grow up.
He wants to be with a woman who will always compliment him and feed his ego. He will be with her as long as she is good for the image that he desperately tries to present to the world. When she stops being all that, he’ll move on to his next victim.
It could be food, gambling, alcohol, or drugs – this guy is addicted to things that bring him joy. Accordingly, this guy will look for a woman who will offer him the same amount of excitement and thrill as he gets from his addictions.
He needs to feel the rush of adrenaline when he is with the woman or he’ll stop being interested. This woman may be his ex, his friend’s girlfriend, or even a married woman. He’ll cling on to her and the pleasure from the forbidden. When he gets bored, he’ll quickly move on to his next “fix.”
THE CAREER-ORIENTED ONE
Nothing is more important than his work for this guy. No, I am not saying that he shouldn’t be ambitious and pursue his goals. I am saying that the trouble comes when he begins neglecting everything else including his woman for the sake of his job.
He doesn’t even try to make space in his life for other things other than his career. When he is with a woman, he neglects her goals, dreams, needs, and emotions. He doesn’t support her emotionally. He is always absent and focused on his work solely. And if she tries to talk to him about it, he’ll get defensive and he will soon tire of her because he will start feeling that she has become a burden to him.
This guy is always discontented, unsatisfied, and depressed. And it doesn’t matter that certain aspects of his life are going on perfectly well, he will still find something to worry about. He has the mindset that bad things are only happening to him. He is always the victim in his story.
This is his cry for help to get the love and affection that he longs for. He wants a woman who will take care of him and who will give a meaning to his meaningless life. However, this relationship can soon become a toxic and codependent one.
If you date a guy that fits in these descriptions above, don’t expect him to change. His toxic behavior will poison your life and you better stay away from him.
You deserve to be with someone who is mature and a complete person. Don’t settle for less than that.