People say that you have no emotion inside that beautiful heart of yours. They say that you are insensitive and cruel. A stuck-up, miserable person who is jealous of everyone else. People are avoiding you because you are acting weird and you have no sense of humor.
According to them, you take things too seriously. They say that you have no friends. That you could never ever find someone who would understand you.
To them, you are just another unstable and emotionally unavailable weirdo, a persona non grata who deserves to be ignored and left alone.
But I see you. And I feel that I can dive deep inside your soul. I feel that I can sense your pain.
In fact, I know that look in your eyes. Everything about you is kind of familiar. That is because you carry great pain in your heart. Unfortunately, only the ones who have experienced the same as you can actually understand you.
You are not cruel! You, my darling, are not heartless. I don’t care what others say about you. You are not self-absorbed. Your emotional walls are just too high for them. That’s what their problem is.
You are not insensitive. You’ve been hurt for so many times, that in the end, you’ve finally learned how to build a strong fortress around you. And you did it. After so many disappointments and heartbreaks in life, you’ve decided that the only thing that matters in life is self-care.
Your emotional walls are high because you no longer trust people. You are tired of giving second chances. You don’t feel comfortable sharing your life with someone who hasn’t proven that they really care for you. You no longer allow yourself to show the world how vulnerable you are. You no longer ask for help. You no longer feel the need to depend on another human being. The only person who now understands you best is yourself.
Your emotional walls are high because you’ve been that fragile, loving and open person before, but the only thing you got in return was your heart broken in pieces. Once upon a time, you were someone who loved fiercely, trusted unconditionally, gave many chances and forgave quickly. But it turned out, that was never enough for people. It was not enough to make them stay and love you the way you deserve.
So, you realized that the only thing that makes you feel safe is your strong emotional wall. You realized that the only one you can rely on is yourself.
And I understand that decision. I know how those fears make you feel. I completely support you. I’ve been there myself. You are 100% that those boundaries you’ve created for yourself will protect you from future disappointments and heartbreaks. After experiencing that much pain, you’d rather let someone go than let them inside your heart. It just feels safer this way.
But here is something to think about. While that fortress around you keeps you guarded and safe, it also prevents you from seeing and experiencing the raw beauty this world has to offer. You probably haven’t felt that yet, but after a while, you’ll understand what I am talking about. You won’t feel pain, but you won’t feel love either. The emptiness inside of you will make you comfortably numb.
So, are you sure that you really want that?
Are you sure that you want to spend the rest of your life imprisoned?
Look, these walls will take away the pain and protect you from this cruel, cruel world. But they will also rob you of your ability to feel. They will take away everything that matters in life. That is why, my dear… it is important to understand that sometimes we have to be brave enough to break our own walls.
Believe it or not, this cruel world on the other side of your fortress has many things to offer you.
There’s so much out there for you to see. There’s so much out there for you to experience.
The only thing you have to do is to find the strength within you and blow up those barriers!