There are people who crave to be in a relationship with a narcissist regardless of any abuse that is inflicted on them. They want to be in a relationship with a narcissist and only with a narcissist. They would never feel satisfied in a relationship with a “normal” person.
They are submissive, demanding, and needy. Perhaps they were abandoned when they were children and that’s why they suffer from abandonment anxiety which makes them remain committed no matter how badly someone mistreats them.
They see the narcissist as far more intelligent, popular, charming, self-confident, emotionally balanced, talented, and attractive than them. They see the narcissist’s “grandiosity” as giving them the power to have anything they want, so they feel very insecure as to why someone who feels out of their league chooses to be in a relationship with them.
Ultimately, they start to envy and even hate the narcissist because of their power, talent, beauty, and charm which gives them to have many choices – one of which is the choice to stay or leave them for another individual.
But why would anyone crave to be in a relationship with a narcissist, knowing that they are not wanted, despised even?
Perhaps it is because their narcissistic father or mother made them lose their personality. Maybe they were their father’s Wunderkind. Maybe their father ignored their mother and poured all their effort and energy into them.
Eventually, they turned into the perfect “other half” of the narcissist that was molding them. They were able to relate only to their father, and later they can relate only to one type of people – the narcissist.
The narcissist thus becomes their perfect mate, their perfect lover – a perfect substitute for their narcissistic parent.
So, to answer the question again: “Why narcissists? Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want them back?” The answer is – because they are built that way.
And it’s not that they don’t have a choice – they have. They can decide between a relationship with a “normal” person that feels emotionally numbing to them and predictable and a relationship with a narcissist in which case they feel alive, emotionally satisfied, and their world is a real rollercoaster ride to the unpredictable.
What feels catastrophic and damaging to people who are not accustomed to being around a narcissist, feels like “home” to people who were raised by a narcissist.
That’s why they can survive. Because they were used to the abuse and the patterns from a very young age. The narcissist’s behavior feels right to them on an instinct level. It’s what feels natural to them. Because the love they receive from the narcissist is the very love that they have received their whole life.
To be in a relationship with a narcissist feels NORMAL to them.
So, one could only wonder – Who is more dangerous in this case? The narcissist or the person who can survive the narcissist and crave for more?
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