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Soulmate Or The Most Painful Relationship Of Your Life


You gave your heart and soul to someone who you believed was your soulmate. You felt an intense connection with him. He felt like a best friend, an amazing lover, a faithful companion – all combined into one person.

That’s why you fell immediately, deeply, and madly in love with him. Unfortunately, you gave your heart to someone only to discover later that he was nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Both women and men believe that a soulmate is their perfect match. You meet someone with whom you instantly click and feel an intense connection and voilà – you’re a 100 percent sure that they’re your soulmate. But the problem is that not all soulmates are emotionally healthy individuals.

And although you feel like you’ve finally found your missing half, the love of your love, or ‘The One’ and as they complete you on all levels, sooner or later, they’ll show their true self.

They’ll show their true colors. Perhaps you’ll discover that they’re a manipulator, a liar, and a cheater. Perhaps you’ll find that they’re an alcoholic or a drug addict.

You begin to feel like this is all just a bad dream. But it’s not – it’s your reality.

So sudden is their transformation that you can’t help but wonder how someone so charming and caring can turn into the devil overnight. You find it hard to understand how the man who swears that he’s truly in love with you can behave towards you so badly.

Here’s the truth: A soulmate doesn’t mean that they’re capable of a healthy, meaningful, happy, and long-lasting relationship. They may be the most compassionate, generous, and loving person out there. They may tell you that they’ve never seen a smarter, stronger, prettier, and more inspiring woman than you in their life. They may tell you that they can’t imagine living their life without you being a part of it. That’s why it’s so difficult to understand how they can lie to you, cheat on you, overly criticize you, and guilt-trip you.

Soulmates are those individuals that are magnetically drawn to each other due to similar emotional patterns. And, most often than not, this is a bad thing.

For example, a misogynist is often attracted to a woman who reminds him of his uncaring, controlling, and overly critical mother. A codependent woman is often attracted to an emotionally detached man who represents her distant, cold father. A narcissistic person will seek for an insecure, naïve woman who will put up with his bad habits and hypercriticism.

Emotionally-impaired soulmates innately understand each other’s weaknesses, insecurities, and pains and they feel comfortable with each other’s destructive and unhealthy behavior. For example, a woman who was raised by an alcoholic or emotionally detached father may instinctively know that her partner’s behavior is unhealthy and wrong but still accept it.

The problem of loving a soulmate that has destructive behavior is that it’s extremely hard (and in some cases, even impossible) to end the relationship with them. And one of the reasons for this is that soulmate relationships are passionate. They’re based on a lot of irrational emotions, i.e. a blind kind of love.

A kind of love you’re aware that’s gradually destroying you emotionally and mentally and you still feel unable to walk away from your soulmate permanently. You’re unable to let go of them because they always find a way to convince you, (usually with their tears and manipulations), to stay.

So, if you’ve already met someone who you believe is your soulmate – be careful. Because a true soulmate is someone who will never try to lie to you, play mind games with you, and cheat on you. Someone who will never try to control you and gain power over you.

And if you’re in a relationship with a deceptive and dysfunctional soulmate, you should pay close attention to the following things:

1. Your relationship will never get better until you let go of all your damaging behaviors and hurtful emotional patterns.

2. The only way you can liberate yourself from their negative, destructive influence is to go no contact. Distance yourself from them completely.

3. Last but not least, I believe that every person deserves healing and forgiveness if they really want it. So, if your deceptive and dysfunctional soulmate really wants it – great. But if he doesn’t, well, then, you may need to consider letting go of him.

Riley Cooper