There isn’t anything more difficult and heart-wrenching than having to cut ties with a family member. Because family ties are one of the strongest ties that we have in life. Our family members are the people who are supposed to be always there for us. They’re supposed to contribute to our happiness and make our lives easier and more fulfilling. They’re supposed to protect us from manipulative and deceitful people. They’re supposed to protect us from every bad thing surrounding us.
Unfortunately, sometimes some family members can be more damaging than anyone else. Some family members can suck the energy and happiness out of you. They can make you doubt your sense of reality and logic. They can make you doubt your own worth. They can hurt you and inflict deep emotional wounds on your heart.
Some family members can become too damaging for you to be around them, and the best thing you can do to save yourself from pain is to completely distance yourself from them, regardless of how hard and painful this might be.
Here are 7 reasons why cutting toxic family members out of your life is okay:
1. They’re judgmental.
Constructive criticism is a normal part of any healthy and meaningful relationship. But, constant negative, harsh, and unjustifiable criticism can greatly damage your self-esteem.
Family members that are highly judgmental, i.e. that are constantly emphasizing your insecurities, fears, mistakes, and failures, can greatly impact the way you see yourself and undermine your self-confidence.
2. They only help you if it somehow benefits them.
A toxic family member will never think twice about asking for your help and support when they’re going through rough times. However, when it’s YOU who needs to be helped, they’re nowhere to be found. And this should never surprise you since a toxic family member will only offer you their help if this can help them gain something. They’ll never decide to support you or help you out of consideration or love for you.
3. They create drama in your life.
Have you ever decided to share your insecurities and fears with a family member or ask them for advice in the hope that you’ll receive some kind of help and support? And then you found out that they betrayed your trust.
Well, that’s exactly what toxic family members do. They pretend to genuinely care about you. They do everything in their power to find out what your greatest fears and insecurities are, and once they succeed in this, they use your weaknesses and flaws against you so as to make you feel weak and worthless.
4. They gaslight you.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person is caused to doubt their own perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, logic, and even sanity.
A lot of toxic family members seem to be fond of this manipulation tactic. Because gaslighting enables a toxic family member to avoid taking responsibility for their bad actions by making you believe that they’ve never done or said something hurtful to you. Gaslighting enables them to convince you to believe that you’re the manipulative, deceitful, and negative one.
5. They undermine your successes.
Toxic family members envy your happiness and success. They hate to see you pursue and fulfill your goals. They can’t stand the idea of you being happier and more successful than them.
That’s the reason why they never acknowledge your successes and achievements. Every time you achieve success, they’ll try to make it appear as if it’s not a big deal and as if it is not something that you should be proud of.
6. They gossip about you.
Many people would agree that gossip is meaningless and vile. But apparently, there are many others who don’t share this opinion. And undoubtedly, toxic family members fit into this category.
In order to tarnish your reputation, ruin your relationships with others, and make you feel bad about yourself, a toxic family member will talk behind your back and spread all kinds of blatant lies about you.
But, what you need to remember is that this has nothing to do with you or your worth. Because gossiping about you is just their way of boosting their own weak ego.
7. They thrive on your pain.
Instead of being there for you when you’re going through tough times in life and doing everything in their power to ease your worries and alleviate your pain, like any supportive and loving family member would do, a toxic family member will make sure you feel even worse. Because as long as you’re struggling with problems or you’re in pain, they will be happy and satisfied with their life.