Home Psychology Seek Approval And Validation From Yourself Only: People Judge Anyway

Seek Approval And Validation From Yourself Only: People Judge Anyway

Seek Approval And Validation From Yourself Only: People Judge Anyway

Who are we? Why are we so prejudiced towards other people? What things do we hide? Are we better than the rest of the world? Are we perfect? 

Probably not. Yet, we keep judging others. We keep creating stories about other people based on appearances. Based on a person’s clothes, their perfume, their posture, or the language they use. 

We are intrigued by a certain person, but we don’t know them, so we just try to fill in the gaps and collect the missing pieces of the puzzle.

We assume someone is a rude person just because they didn’t greet their neighbors, or didn’t hold the elevator’s door for them. We all have our good and bad days. It doesn’t make us good or bad, though; it makes us human.

We all have our asocial moments and there is nothing wrong with it. 

As adults, people are allowed to ghost from the world from time to time to charge their batteries. That is perfectly fine. Us judging that ghosting is not okay. You don’t know who is dealing with how much and you don’t know how long they’ve been strong for. 

We judge not on appearances only, but we judge based on values, beliefs, our own personality, and personal experiences. Our childhoods affect our perspective on life. Say, you are a child of divorced parents, so naturally, you develop mistrust towards the opposite sex and it is hard for you to make meaningful relationships with them because of your past.

On the contrary, a person who might have lost a parent in their early childhood may feel more eager to form a family to gain what was once lost. 

The thing is, you cannot explain your past to every person you meet, and you cannot explain the big picture to them: why you behave a certain way, or why you say what you say. And that’s okay.

What’s important is that you know where you are coming from and that you are trying to become a better version of yourself. Daily. 

The rest of the world can say or think whatever. It’s important that you free yourself from judgment and prejudice because it is the only way you can grow as a person. 

Judging is painful, but it’s also natural. It’s an inextricable part of our lives. It is so because we perceive things through our own eyes, through our own lenses. We filter people through our understanding of the world.

Getting rid of judgment may not be as easy as washing a set of dishes. It is a work in progress. As long as you are aware of how different we all are, and how different experiences we all have had in our past, you have made the first step.

Judgment is never easy; it’s like a needle poking your fingers. It’s not lethal, yet you cannot ignore the prickling sensation on your skin; it has altered your day and has caused you physical discomfort.

Well, it’s the same with judgment. You don’t want to let it ruin your life, but you let it ruin your day. You let judgment hover like a halo over your head.

Well, the power is in our hands. We cannot perhaps stop the process, but we can change how we react to it. Validation comes from within. It doesn’t come from people who have met you a few days ago or have only spent an hour with you. 

They see flashing images of you, not the entire picture of you. Remember that.

Nora Connel