Do you think that you and your partner are the only ones fighting? No. Other people fight just as much but you don’t see them in public. In public, everyone tries to present a “perfect” picture of their relationship.
And if you have a friend who says they and their partner never argue – they are a liar. That is just not true. Period. Many studies showed that people argue over 2455 times a year on the average, which is approximately 7 times a day.
So, what’s the secret to a successful and happy relationship? Dare to guess?
If you think that the secret to a happy relationship is knowing how to argue – you are right. Apparently, people who fight together stay together.
And the biggest mistake that we tend to make in our relationships is avoiding conflicts. We feel something is wrong, but we choose not to talk about it. We don’t speak up because we fear arguments and what they will bring. However, we fail to realize that not speaking up is more dangerous for the relationship.
Disagreements and conflicts are an integral part of any healthy relationship. Relationships are worth fighting for.
Don’t worry when you fight. Worry when you stop fighting. That means there’s nothing left for you to fight for. It’s only then that the relationship is over.
Speak gently, leave your ego behind, don’t judge, and affirm before you accuse. Let your partner know you care about them. Be compassionate. Be willing to forgive and say you are sorry.
Finally, remember – you two should fight together against the problem, not both of you against each other.
Arguments can actually be good for a relationship… But only if you: Raise your words Not your voiceIt is the rain that grows flowersNot thunder RumiWe have never learned the skill to grow through conflict, and therefore the conflict continued to grow
Posted by Jay Shetty on Tuesday, July 24, 2018
Image: Keely Yount