Oh, I’m sorry. Did I hurt your feelings by acting a little bit over the line? I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what has gotten into me. Sometimes I think it is because you were treating me like sh*t, but then I am like, “Nooo, he is so nice. It had to be me.”
It had to be me because in your mind I am the “crazy b*tch” with an attitude problem and a perplexed brain that just had to react to everything. Like that time when you made a comment about me getting a little weight and not looking as attractive as I once was, and I got super upset about it. Yeah, I was sooo over the line and “I am sorry” for raising my voice and speaking my mind.
And maybe I should also apologize for that time I called you an a-hole when I saw you flirting and exchanging numbers with that girl in the club in front of me. I mean, how insane was I to even get upset at you doing a “normal” thing that all guys do. That’s how this world functions now, you told me. So silly me, you weren’t doing anything wrong.
Oh, yes… Remember that time I had broken apart in tears and opened my heart about everything and told you everything that wasn’t working for me and how I wanted to be treated? I’m sorry that I’d put you through it. You must have felt awful. Poor baby.
However, I think that the craziest I’ve been while we were together were the times when I’d expected you to treat me with respect. I mean come on, what was I thinking? I was really getting on your nerves back then. In your mind, you must have heard the sound of the ambulance ready to take me to a hospital because apparently – I was crazy. I am sorry that you had to deal with all that mess.
Finally, I hope that you will forgive the next girl you treat like trash. That you’ll forgive her nastiness and craziness. Because that’s what we women do. How could have you, a wise and emotionally mature man, ever known what goes on inside a woman’s head? Of course, you couldn’t. You have better things on your mind to deal with.
And of course, I am sorry that you will never get the sarcasm behind my ‘sorrys.’ You never did. Anyway… I am sorry.