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Moving On Doesn’t Always Mean Finding A New Partner, Sometimes It’s Finding Yourself


Look, relationships are not a game. Breakups are never easy.

And I don’t care what some people out there say, but I refuse to talk about winning and losing after ending a relationship. Instead, I want to focus on finding your true happiness by doing what’s best for your mental and emotional health without worrying about how others might see you.

So, hear me out, would you?

Ending a relationship with someone who was your whole wide world is an excruciatingly painful thing. I know that we’ve all felt the bitter taste of saying farewell to the one we loved. I know that we’ve all had to let go of certain people for our sake. I know that we’ve all felt the pain of not being loved back. I’m familiar with all of these feelings because there was a time when I was forced to accept and live with them.

We’ve all been left alone with nothing else but our broken hearts and our torn souls. We’ve all been emotionally naked in front of a person who did not bother to do the same for us. We’ve all felt exhausted, insecure and too fragile to keep moving on. And so, eventually, we’ve all sought shelter in other people’s embrace.

There’s no doubt that finding the strength to get up on your feet after a devastating break up is a very challenging task. But, moving on is not about engaging in a new relationship immediately after your break up. It’s not about instantly getting back into the dating game. Those are easier ways to cope with the pain. I am perfectly aware of that.

But they are not something that will eventually help us heal our wounds and overcome the pain.

Moving on is about finding yourself. At least to me. About letting go of everything that made you suffer. About taking your damn life back. About allowing the sunshine to enter your world after a long period of hailstorms and vicious hurricanes. About taking matters into your own hands and doing what’s best for you. Whatever that might be.

If you ask me, the true measure of moving on isn’t whether or not you’ve found new shelter in another person. It’s about whether or not you’ve started pursuing your deepest desires, nurturing yourself, healing your fresh wounds and making the essential changes without actually wondering how your ex-partner is and what he’s doing.

But, that’s just me, I guess. In all honesty, I am not here to tell you how to live your life. I just believe that if you truly want to move on from a painful and gut-wrenching heartbreak, you need to be brave enough to stand up, face your challenges on your own and try to find yourself.

However, we mustn’t forget that after all, we are all different. We may have the same beating heart in our chest, but our emotions and fears are what make us unique human beings.  So, moving on may not always mean the same to all of us. For some, it might mean finding a new partner and for others, it might mean isolating themselves from everyone and finding happiness within their souls.

At the end of the day, all I know is that moving on is doing what’s best for you and your wellbeing. For me, it meant releasing attachments from my previous relationship and finding my own happiness.

So, here’s to new beginnings.

Most importantly, here’s to life. For there is nothing more important than focusing on the magic of the present moment and making the most of life while we’re here.

Stephanie Reeds