There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage or a perfect relationship.
Whoever told you that, lied to you.
Married life is a challenge. It takes hard work, patience, a lot of understanding, compromises, support, respect, friendship, and trust to survive. It’s not something that happens overnight. So, make sure you adjust your sails, because you are in for a big ride.
More importantly, whatever you choose to do, never let these 5 misconceptions throw you off the track and destroy your marriage:
1. “Marriage shouldn’t be hard work.”
You don’t want to believe this. Trust me. Do you know what the consequences of this misconception are? Unhappy and miserable marriages due to a lack of effort from any of the partners. The misconception that marriage should be smooth sailing instead of adjusting our sails to the winds is something that prevents people from truly committing to each other. Marriage IS hard work, but it is worth it.
2. “You should only marry your soulmate.”
Oh please… I mean yes, there’s nothing more wonderful and life-changing than finding your one, true love of your life. Your soulmate, so to speak. But you know what? Not all of us out there are meant to find this person. Some of us don’t end up marrying our soulmate, but rather a person who fits into our world in a completely different way.
3. “Fighting is a sign that your marriage is not working.”
False. It’s quite the opposite really. Partners who don’t fight usually have more serious or in some cases worse troubles than those who do fight. But let’s make one thing clear. There is a big difference between a fight that leads to a deeper understanding and a fight that ends up without a solution. It is the second ones that are exhausting, truly complex and problematic. Sweeping things under the rug instead of doing your best to solve the issue is exactly what makes marriages fall apart.
4. “Marriage is the end of freedom.”
Everybody says that half of the marriages fail, but no one seems to focus on the other half that actually succeeds. Marriage is not the problem. It’s the people in it that usually make it insufferable.
People should not be terrified of getting married. For marriage is not the end of freedom, romance, sex, fun, adventures, happiness. Marriage is the start of a brand new chapter of life. A bond in which two people promise to take care of each other. A connection that is based on vows, unconditional love and most importantly, friendship.
5.“Marriage partners are responsible for each other’s happiness.”
Listen up. No one, I repeat no one is responsible for your happiness but yourself. If you are only marrying someone in order to find happiness, you are making a big mistake. If you expect that your partner will solve all of your issues and put a smile on your face, you are wrong buddy. You are the only one who can do that. Marital happiness can be found only after we learn to be happy with ourselves first.
Marriage may be hard work, but it is worth every struggle.