Emotional support, among all other types of support, is one of the greatest benefits that we all get from being in a relationship. Whenever we are faced with hardships or go through stressful periods in life, we turn to our loved ones, knowing that sometimes even their presence in our lives and their offered empathy can make us feel calmer and ultimately heal us.
However, there is a certain line that when crossed has the power to turn us into an emotionally dependent partner. If emotional support is the natural need to look for our partner’s guidance and shelter, emotional dependency is relying on them completely. In other words, expecting them to meet all of our emotional needs. The root causes of this particular behavior are our fears and insecurities.
And we all know how it goes, where there’s fear, there cannot be love. At least no in the real, free-flowing way.
Below I am going to go over some points that explain what emotional dependency really means.
Are you in love or you are emotionally dependent on your partner?
1. You are too needy. You are always relying on them for everything. It’s almost as though you don’t know how to function on your own. Like you don’t even want to take some time for yourself. What’s even more alarming is that being alone does not calm you, it only makes you more anxious.
2. You always blame them for your emotions. And that is one of the biggest mistakes. No one is responsible for the way you feel. Not even your loved ones. Only you have the power to change that. Only you have the power to feel what you feel, accept it, and move on. This is a big red flag that you are overly dependent on your partner and that you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone and face what goes on inside of you.
3. You barely spend time with anyone else but your partner. You are isolated from the rest of the world. No one but your partner makes you feel calm and safe. No one makes you happy. You feel like nothing you do in life is worth doing if it’s not done with your partner.
4. You constantly change things about you to fit inside your partner’s world. You may not see how harmful this behavior this is, but if you continue doing this, it will eventually backfire in a really bad way and destroy everything you hold dear. You are your own person. Changing in order to fit a certain mold will never bring you closer to the happiness you so desperately seek.
5. You need their approval for everything you do. It’s silly and you know it. Yet, you feel like you cannot do something the right way if they don’t first approve of it. It’s almost like you don’t feel strong enough to make a decision on your own. You feel as though your partner’s opinion is all that matters. And you know that’s not true. The only validation you need is within you.
6. You feel empty and miserable without them. There is something inside of you that tells you that you would never survive without them. Not even a single day. You are addicted to them and you could never imagine your life without them beside you.
7. You are extremely possessive over your partner. So much that you don’t feel good about them going somewhere or doing something without you. Every person in their life, every hobby that they enjoy, even their work; they are all threats to you. The more focused they are on other things, the more your fear intensifies.