Goodbyes are hard. Letting go is painful. Moving on is not as simple as some people say it is. Even when the relationship is toxic. Even when your partner no longer gives you what you need. Even when there is nothing left for us to hold onto.
One of the main reasons why people stay in bad relationships is the fear of being alone. Let’s face it. We’ve all felt it. We’ve all felt a bit dizzy at the thought of letting go and ending up all alone. No matter how bad and dysfunctional the relationship has been. The idea underneath all of this is that something is always better than nothing. Having someone rather than no one feels kind of reassuring and comforting.
Another reason that people often choose to stay in bad relationships instead of just move on is the actual gain from their relationships. To some people, their relationship, no matter how toxic, means financial stability. To some, it is an opportunity. This means that staying in that relationship allows these people to have a certain gain in the future. And that is the main reason why they choose to stay in it.
However, regardless of all these reasons, there is only one truth.
The longer we stay in bad relationships, the more they become our reality. We get accustomed to them. And all of sudden, they become our new normal. We adapt to that life because we convince ourselves that it is okay for us, and pretty quick we accept it, without thinking about the consequences.
And by doing so, we actually deny ourselves the life that we crave. We deny ourselves a good life, happiness, love, a better relationship, an environment where we can flourish. We deny ourselves the possibility of real love because of our fears. This is, in other words, training that this is what a relationship is to us.
You see, as human beings, we always claim that we love adventures and challenges in life. But the reality is often very different. When the pressure is on and it is finally time for action, we are pretty much lazy.
We don’t tend to move unless we feel pain or desire. Those two are the motivating factors in our lives, the forces that move us. Make us change. We either wait until we’re so disgusted with everything and we’re finally pressured to make a change or until we are so uncomfortable that we cannot bear it another second. And this is not good. It is not healthy for us. The more we allow ourselves to deny our real feelings out of fear and stay in relationships that no longer serve us, the more comfortable we get in the familiar. And the less desire we have to actually make a move and change our lives.
And the worst part is… Time flies. Time flies without asking. It never stops. Not even for you.
That is why it is crucial to stop lying to ourselves and look in the mirror. To finally get ahold of ourselves and face the inevitable truth.
That no matter how much the unknown scares us or makes us uncomfortable, we have to find the courage inside of us and step inside it. We have to take a leap of faith and jump. Jump for our happiness, for our future, for our own peace.
We have to start trusting ourselves more and do whatever feels good doing. We have to get up on our feet and get out of the relationship that isn’t serving us anymore. We have to take our own life into our management.
It’s true. There are situations that are really more complicated than anyone can imagine. But then again, there is nothing that you cannot do if you set your mind to it. In the end, the only thing that matters is finding our own happiness. Discovering what makes our soul flourish. And no one can do that better than ourselves.