It does make sense to let go of something if it drains your energy and it doesn’t make you happy, doesn’t it?
So, why do some women and men find it extremely difficult to put an end to an unsatisfying relationship when it obviously makes them unhappy? Why do they hold on to an unhealthy, troubled relationship that can’t be fixed and that clearly doesn’t bring happiness and a sense of fulfillment into their lives?
Here are 5 reasons why we stay in dysfunctional relationships:
1. We’ve invested a lot of time.
When we’ve already invested a considerable amount of effort, resources, or time in a relationship, many of us refuse to let it fail and decide to continue this investment although it may not be beneficial for us.
The reason why we sometimes make unwise relationship decisions is that we tend to rely on feelings rather than rational thinking.
This is probably the main reason why it’s so hard for us to leave bad relationships. Because despite the difficulties and disagreements we have with our partners, we don’t want our children to see us displaying our worst behavior. We can’t bear the thought of them being disappointed in us or hurt. And we don’t want to destroy our family.
One more major obstacle to leave a dysfunctional relationship is our shared finances with our partners. Divorce is expensive and many people can’t really afford it. In addition to the high cost of divorce, some aren’t able to afford to buy a house, pay bills, and raise their children without their partner’s income.
4. We worry about what other people will think.
Many of us stay in unhealthy and troubled relationships for fear of what others may think. We worry that our family, friends, and everyone around us will disapprove of our decision and think we’re a failure if we decide to leave our dysfunctional relationships. We worry that others will think we’re immature, irresponsible, and unable to build and maintain a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship.
In the case of a dysfunctional relationship, our thoughts may be negative, telling us that the person we’re in a relationship with isn’t good for us. However, our feelings may still be positive.
We may continue to care about and love our partners, although we’re well aware that we’re involved in unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships.