Love. Oh, love. What is love really?
Love is being there for someone. Love is accepting someone for who they are. Love is understanding someone’s pain and doing your best to help them out. Love is loyalty, commitment, trust, persistence, tolerance, courage, honesty, and faith. Love is all of that and more.
But you know what love isn’t?
Love is not trying to fix someone. Love is not raising another grown-up individual as your own child. Love is not being in a codependent relationship. It is not trying to change someone and make them a better person.
I’ve seen people relying on their partner for everything little things. Behaving like children when they are in fact grown and (im)mature individuals. Almost as if that’s their own responsibility in the relationship. As if they are the ones that should raise them up and show them the way.
Get it through your head, it’s not your responsibility to fix them. It’s not your responsibility to transform your entire world for them and act as a rehabilitation center for a person who struggles to get their life together.
I am sorry, but I am not sorry. I know it sounds harsh and I know it sounds inconsiderate, but I won’t apologize for something I truly believe in. I’ve always said that when it comes to love and relationships, one cannot expect to make their life a living fairytale by simply finding someone. One simply cannot rely on another person to make them a better person.
One must get out of their shell and create their dream life on their own. They must find the courage within and be ready to face life’s challenges head-on. One must believe in themselves, to be willing to put up a fight, to keep going on no matter how hard life is. One must trust the process and know deep down that anything they set their mind to is possible. One must be brave to live. Live life to the fullest. Embrace the changes as they come. Survive the heaviest thunderstorms. Fall many times over and over again, but always get back on their feet. One must find their strength to move forward. To live to see another day.
It’s only after they’ve found their calling, that they are capable of finding real love. Only after they’ve grown on their own, that they can expect to grow old with another person.
So, no. It’s not your responsibility to make all of this happen for them. You may be their guidance on their journey. You may help them find their path, but in the end, it is not your job to do so. You can do it if you like, or not do it. It’s up to you. But it’s not your fault what they choose to go through in life and it’s not your responsibility to save them.
You have your own life to take care of. Your own world that you have to build. Your own dreams to conquer. Your own journey to walk.
Focus on that.