We all know who INFJs are. I am sure that most of you reading this are probably INFJs themselves. But for those of you who may not have a clue, INFJ is a personality type characterized by the Myers Briggs Personality archetypes. The acronym stands for Introvert, Intuition, Feeling and Judgement.
Besides being known as people who feel too much and have deep intuition, INFJ’s most famous characteristic is slamming the door on people or in other words, cutting people out of their lives.
Here’s the thing. INFJs are compassionate, empathic and loving souls. They trust people and they always give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Naturally, when an INFJ connects with the person, they do it purely from their heart. So, when someone stomps on it and betrays them, they do not give second chances. People who have wrong them must go. It’s simple. INFJs don’t hesitate to cut people out of their life. If someone is the reason behind their tears, that person doesn’t have a place in their life.
You have to understand that INFJs are not people who would beg for love. They would never make demands upon people and tell them how they want to be treated. INFJs believe that when someone truly cares about them, it will come naturally for them to manifest their feeling and share their love.
So, in some cases, slamming the door on people means moving on and never coming back. But there are some who hope that doing this will actually make the other person realize how much they’ve lost. And so, sometimes, in the heat of the moment, they do this in order to let the other person know that things have truly escalated. They send the message that going back is possible, but it would take a lot of sacrifices and efforts to make the relationship happen.
If the answer is positive, they will do their best to make things work. But if there is no response, an INFJ won’t beg. They will move on without looking back.
How they do that with such ease is а mystery to many.
But here’s the truth.
What makes these people look indifferent and cold about walking away from people is the fact that INFJs accept the fact of losing someone long before that actually happens. They internally process a lot of what’s going on around them. They go through the grieving process by themselves, and when the time comes to finally cut someone out of their lives, they do it without hesitation. The hardest part of their decision – the confrontation of their own demons is already done. What’s left is the last step…
However, it is also important to know that no matter how harsh and relentless they seem, INFJs give out many warnings before their final act. Slamming a door on someone is not something they do every day. In order to do this, an INFJ must feel emotionally unsafe and mentally threatened by the person they are with. They must be hurt or betrayed in a very horrible way. Otherwise, they have no reason to treat someone like that.
Bottom line, I believe that INFJs should take better care of themselves and not allow themselves to get to a point where they feel exhausted, used and abused by someone. Even though cutting people off is a self-protection mechanism that they’ll always have as one of their fastest solutions, INFJs should question themselves whether it is worth it to spend that much time and energy on someone who doesn’t really care. Instead of taking the time to slam doors hoping that something will change, sometimes, they should just let go.
Those who have or had an INFJ in their life and know their dynamic might find it easier to work out how serious the door slam is when it finally happens. If it is a door slam that has been made calmly and rationally, it is likely that the INFJ in question has made their final decision and there is nothing anyone could do to change that.