Home Psychology Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Shallow Socializing

Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Shallow Socializing


 “People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen

The Internet is a place full of stereotypes about introverts. Most of them are entertaining and laughable, but are they really accurate? Well, I don’t think so.

Behind the tough persona, who relates to these gifs, memes and movie lines, there is a human that has trouble interacting with other fellow humans, using the conventional way. It’s a coping mechanism that allows them to hide their weakness.

The reason why I am explaining this is very simple. Introverts are not showing themselves in their true colors. If you are not a psychologist and you try to analyze their behavior from a distance, you may start to develop some negative feelings. They will seem full of themselves, acting like they hate the world and thinking they are too good to be surrounded by ordinary people.

But, none of that is true. And this is the reason why you need to read this article and find out what makes introverts so bothered by shallow interaction. Also, it can be helpful for introverts as well, because they can learn how to minimize the anxiety they feel, about social gatherings, and help themselves alleviate the pressure while obliged to talk on trivial topics. (1)

Appreciating the “going out” in order to feel better about “staying in”

If you have a friend that is an introvert, you’ve probably noticed by now how hard it is to convince them to go out. Going out of their cave (filled with PS games, comic con posters and sci-fi literature) is a big deal. Sometimes, they like to stick to their comfort zone and not let anyone in. The thing is, although they like to be alone, sooner or later they will get bored. It’s fine and distracting to play games, but playing too much has the contrary effect.

The same goes with reading books. Once in a while it’s fun to spend that Saturday night on your own, but every weekend spend like that is suffocating. And, because introverts are very curious creatures, sometimes they put their guards down and let themselves to experience something new. The bare thought of going out, meeting new people, while obliged to talk about trivial subjects can be an absolute nightmare. But, on occasions like this, introverts may encounter people who share similar interests and passions. People who feel exactly the same about socializing. And, voilà!      They just met their future best friend.

If you are an introvert, try to remember this. The bare thought of going out, triggers your anxiety so much, that you just want to cancel all, right? But please, don’t! These events are the perfect occasion for you, to meet other introverts, who might become a big part of your life later on.

And, you don’t want to spend the whole weekend watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, once again, right? (2)

Social events need to represent something meaningful

It’s not just going out, just having fun, just hooking up. They are searching for meaning, for purpose! Maybe, you thought that all those hours alone, they spent on checking their results on Dota 2, (which is kind of true) but nevertheless, they care about their time and how they are going to spend it. So, the likelihood of them getting super bored at your party, especially if the guests are divided into smaller groups is very high. Hitting the fan, kind of high!

For me, the most gripping thing, while observing people at parties or social events is the bare act of them, pretending to have a lot of fun. The most peculiar thing is that pretty much all of them are doing the same thing. And then, I just get bored, because humans can become boring. And then I just wish I could find someone who is equally excited about the next season of Game of Thrones.

So, we can totally nerd out about the potential outcome and all those fan based theories. Well, that is a meaningful conversation, isn’t it? Just joking. Anyways, if I get bored, I remind myself that not every night out can and should be special. Sometimes, it’s more like practicing your social skills and also, seeing how weird extroverts can become. (They feel the same way about us). 

So, the last word of advice should go something like this. Don’t expect that you are going to have fun every time you are going out. Sometimes, it’s not about having fun in the first place. It’s about connections, and meeting new people and exchanging ideas. And that is the only possible way for you, to find someone with who you can connect on a much deeper level. (3)

David Smith