Home Love & Relationships Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Small Talk And Shallow Socializing

Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Small Talk And Shallow Socializing


Do you think that you hate socializing because you simply don’t like people?

If you have a hard time being around too many people and if you get anxious every time you get an invitation to a social gathering – don’t worry. You are not a bad person for feeling this way – you are a natural introvert!

Socializing, for introverts, is always something they dread doing. They avoid it at all costs. And when they are forced to do it, the thing that annoys them the most is having to make small talk to people they probably will never meet again.

Introverts get nervous when they are around people, especially around people they don’t know. There are terrified by the thought of going through the awkward process of introducing themselves to other people. What will others think of them? Will they like them, or will they judge them?

It is the small talk that they hate and are trying to avoid – not the people.

The truth is, everyone has to make small talk from time to time, and while there are people who love it, there are other people like introverts who truly detest it.

When it comes to introverts, in their world, there is a huge difference between ‘small talk’ and ‘talking’. And while they hate discussing trivial and unimportant things (or, known as ‘making small talk’), they don’t mind talking about meaningful things that involve deep thinking.

But the thing is, socializing is a part of life. We can’t escape it. We can’t stay at home all the time avoiding meeting new people. Finally, we are all human beings and we need each other.

Therefore, it is crucial for introverts to have a balance. They must understand that there will be times when their anxiety will kick in and then it is best for them to stay comfortable at home. But, other times, they must try to overcome their fear and go out of their comfort zones to meet new friends.

And extroverts might not understand what socializing means for introverts. Because for introverts, socializing is more than just passing the time.

They can never spend their Sunday with their friends ‘doing nothing’. They can never be that casual. They would rather enjoy their own company than spending a day being uncomfortable and bored. Because, when they are alone – they are never bored. They always have interesting things to do. They enjoy their moments of solitude.

Even though this may sound ridiculous to extroverts, introverts will immediately know what I am talking about.

Socializing doesn’t come naturally to introverts. It is an exhausting process of mentally preparing themselves to talk to people and go through many shallow conversations until they reach the depth of conversation they can enjoy. It can be a real challenge.

So, introverts, try not to worry too much about what other people think. If you are not comfortable going out – stay in. Find your balance between socializing and spending time alone. And, if ‘small talk’ is not your thing – don’t do it.

There are many other people like you who also like to discuss deep and meaningful things – like the meaning of life and the secrets of the Universe. Those people are your crowd. You were not made for shallow socializing anyway.

Mary Wright


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