What is the first thing that comes to mind when you utter the word intimacy?
It’s physical closeness, right? Sexual intercourse, sensual touch, sweaty embrace, short breathe, warmth, pleasure, sexually arousing moves, lust, desire, sex drive, urge.
You are not the first, nor the last to think that way. Intimacy is a term that most people often confuse it with sex. Even when they know what it really stands for. For some reason, in our heads, being intimate with someone reminds us of being physically close with someone.
But here’s the thing. You can be sexual with someone, you can be physically close to another person, and still not be intimate. Because real intimacy has nothing to do with touching the body. It has nothing to do with kissing, having sex, holding hands, hugging, and cuddling with someone. You can have all of these things with another person, but you will never feel true intimacy with them until you open your heart and let them in.
For intimacy is more than just a touch. Intimacy means deeply knowing and understanding another human being and feeling deeply known and understood by them. It’s the art of connecting without another person on such a deep level that you feel like you can see into their soul. It’s being free of all the lies, all the space, all the fears, and all the inhibitions. It’s taking everything off of you and exposing yourself completely. Naked, vulnerable, wounded, and afraid.
Intimacy is about truth. It’s about having the courage to let someone know that they are your entire world. It’s about being brave to love another human being from the heart. It’s about showing all of your colors to them. It’s about knowing that you are safe in that person’s embrace. It’s about being free. Free to be who you are. Free to do what you feel.
And because of that, intimacy is really rare. Especially nowadays.
It doesn’t happen after a nice, free-flowing conversation on the first date. It doesn’t happen in the first, honeymoon months of the relationship. In some cases, it doesn’t happen even after years of being together. That’s because it’s scary. And some aren’t as brave as others.
It is also because it takes much more than time to develop. It takes pure, honest, childish love, unconditional support, commitment, loyalty, and trust. You need to be willing to accept each other’s flaws, love one another as you are, forgive each other for every mistake that you do, and move on regardless of everything. You need to be willing to learn from the lessons that life is facing you with and use that to strengthen your relationship.
You need to be willing to get to know another person by looking into their soul.
You need to be willing to accept them as they are.
You need to be willing to understand that you can still be intimately close even if you are not the same.
You need to be willing to let your guard down.
You need to be willing to be free.
So, are you? Are you ready and willing to open your soul and let another person inside? Are you ready to be seen and known for the person you really are?