When we talk about personal growth, the word ‘growth’ to me doesn’t feel like something one would enjoy doing. To me, personal growth is peeling the skin, stripping away all the toxicity from ourselves and from our lives, letting out all the buried emotions and memories and watch them unfold in front of us again. It is painful. It is terrifying. But it is necessary for our wellbeing.
Everything that is not growing, it’s dying. This is true for every living being on this planet.
The process of personal growth and transformation begins with us. It is an on-going, never-ending process that should become a part of us. We should become accustomed to shedding the skin that no longer serves us even though in the beginning we will feel exposed, raw, and vulnerable.
Yes, living an aligned life is difficult, but as it is with everything – it gets tougher before it gets easier.
You’ll feel immense guilt but it’s normal. When you decide to live your life truthfully and in alignment with yourself, you will naturally stop pleasing others and focus on pleasing yourself instead. You will start canceling plans when you need to rest, you will speak up, you will set firm boundaries. So, if you are not used to putting yourself first, you will feel a lot of guilt at the beginning but that is normal. You mustn’t react to it and with time, doing things for yourself will become a part of you.
You’ll start freaking out after speaking up or setting a boundary but that is also normal. When you decide to stand up for yourself and not take bullshit from anyone, at first you will freak out because you are not accustomed to doing that. When you tell someone in their face that they offended you or something they said or did was really inappropriate, you will start questioning yourself whether you should have stayed quiet. You will get used to it, don’t worry. And then, you’ll see how liberating it is.
It is also normal to cut ties with friends, acquaintances, family members, and partners that are toxic for you. End all the relationships and connections with people who bring you down, make you feel empty and sad, exhaust you, and drain your positive energy. I know that it is hard, but once you cut cords, you make room for new and better people to enter your life.
It is okay to want to be left alone. Needing more alone time is one of the things that happen after you take your life by the horns. You need time for yourself. You need space to heal, meditate, process your emotions, and recharge your batteries.
But most importantly, it is perfectly fine to get angry AF. When you’ve spent many years silencing your voice and doing more things to please others than to please yourself, when you’ve been settling for less your whole life, it is normal for a person to become angry and resentful. The anger is your body rejecting your behavior. The anger will set you free and you will never place a low value on yourself ever again.
Heal. Grow. Evolve.