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I’m No Longer Looking For Love – I Seek To Find Happiness Instead!


If you are a single person, I’m sure you’ve experienced and felt the method this sick society is desperately using to shame your choices in life. Relationships. Dating apps. LOVE. Love. love. “Do you want to find your soulmate?”

Everywhere we turn around it feels like the world is trying to point out that we actually did badly at life if we’re single. It’s constantly reminding us of our state that it needs to be changed. It shows us the point where we supposedly went wrong and ended up all alone. It is encouraging us to pursue relationships like it is the only important thing in life.

“Find someone and settle down!”

And even though I’m not denying that being in a loving and caring relationship with a person who understands your soul is one of the purest feelings in the world, there’s still so much more in life we should be looking forward to.

We get so pressured by this world, to chase after the things that are currently trending, we tend to forget what life is actually for. We get lost chasing for that perfect relationship, we chase time, but we fail to see to the simpler side of life when you just stop and look around.

Yes, love and relationships are beautiful. But they’re not everything.

We need to find happiness.

I, myself once thought that the only thing worth in this life is having that person beside me. I gave my heart many times and I fell into relationships foolishly and irrationally, thinking, “Finally, he’s the one.” I fell for people and at that exact moment, they were perfect for me.

But, I wasn’t chasing what I truly need.

Thinking back on my life, I’m aware that I somehow was afraid to just let go and start searching for what I really needed. I was used to a certain way of life. A life I soon discovered that it didn’t give me everything I needed. A life that was just familiar and comfortable to me.

I was so silly to rush into relationships just, so I could be with someone, just so I could love, open to a person, to start making those “future plans”, to not end up becoming (if I may say) an “old maid”. And I forgot about my Happiness.

I’m not saying that I would go back and undo everything I’ve experienced in life because that’s exactly what lead me to this conclusion. Every kiss, every pain, every hug, every person and emotion inside of me made me the person who I am today.

And, right now I am the person who won’t settle for anything before finding happiness in life.

It’s my essential resolution to reach that state. And, if somehow, along the way I bump into someone with whom I can share this happiness, well that will just be the perfect bonus.

But, I’m no longer searching for love. I’m not searching for perfection. I’m not bending over backward to find a person who would just be there carrying my insecurities and fear. I don’t need someone to solve my puzzle because that’s something I’ve decided to do it on my own.

I finally realized that we’re all given one, unique life at disposal. It’s entirely up to us what we do with it. We have the power to change, improve it, modify it to our needs and what’s worst, to waste in vain. I know, I’m not allowing that to happen.

And that certainly doesn’t mean I’m pushing away people, it just means I decided to put romance in “sleep mode”. I’m going after happiness instead of love because when a person is whole on their own, that’s when love arrives. And that love, is the one people refer to as true love.

It’s just love. Unconditional. Unaltered. Pure. Without having the need to possess someone.

I want to chase the light and understand the essential reason for my existence. I want to chase my dreams. I want to chase happiness without expecting someone to give that to me.

I want to find happiness on my own.

Stephanie Reeds


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