I always talk about how I’m never going to settle for a mediocre relationship or chase after a person that plays hard to get.
However, I don’t always keep those promises.
There are moments when I can feel myself thinking about someone who is already taken or longing for someone that obviously has no interest in entering a relationship.
There are nights when I keep staring at my phone, waiting for a certain person’s name to pop up on the screen.
There are days when I just keep checking the Facebook profile of the guy I like, wondering if he’s changed his relationship status or posted a selfie with another girl.
There are times when I keep rearranging my schedule just in case the guy I’m interested in and whom I’ve been talking to for a while calls to tell me that he wants to see me at the last second.
There are times when I find myself stuck in another one-sided relationship although I’ve sworn a thousand times that I’m never going to deal with immature, fickle, irresponsible, selfish men.
I’m doing everything I can to keep my standards high, but I’m having a really hard time because I have a habit of giving my heart to the wrong people. People who want to take advantage of my kindness and empathic nature. People who don’t care about my feelings, opinions, and needs. People who take me for granted.
I’m trying as hard as I can to keep my standards high even though I don’t always choose the right guys for me. Even though I’ve let immature, selfish men break my heart time and time again. Even though I keep letting the wrong guys into my life.
But you know what?
I am not ashamed of that.
I used to blame myself for constantly falling for the wrong guys, but I’ll no longer do that.
Because the world of dating is complex. It’s unpredictable.
Because I can’t control everything, especially what my heart chooses and desires.
Because I can’t always tell whether someone has ulterior motives and only wants to take advantage of me and play with my feelings.
Because I can’t always tell whether the person I truly love and care about feels the same way about me.
Because I can’t always tell whether someone has a heart that’s as cold as ice.
Because I have the right to make mistakes but also learn from them.
I have the right to never give up on finding true love.