To truly love someone means to accept them for who they are, with all their weaknesses and imperfections. And not just accept them, but, in fact, derive pleasure from who they are, including those parts that make us feel afraid because of what they might trigger within us.
Yet, there are so many out there who have gotten into relationships hoping and expecting that the person they’re with will eventually stop or start doing certain things. That they’ll change themselves for them.
The truth is: This isn’t love.
Instead, it’s wanting another person to totally change himself or herself to be the person we think they should be – to be the person we need.
Real love is not about finding a perfect person. Real love is not about trying to change the person we are with until they’ve turned into someone that we think is acceptable and worthy of our attention.
Real love is about accepting someone exactly the way they are. It’s about accepting and cherishing them in their entirety.
Because when you enter a relationship with someone in the hope that they will change, you automatically lose sight of the significance of where your partner is on their journey. Moreover, instead of letting them grow in the ways they want to or they’re meant to, you set up roadblocks since you want them to grow only in the ways you want them to.
None of us wants someone to tell us that they’re in love with us, but that they would love us more if we didn’t laugh so loudly, didn’t speak so fast, didn’t dress the way we did, or had a different job.
So, let’s all make the choice to love someone without expecting them to change, but rather expecting them to grow and become the best version of themselves, even if that means they may grow in a way different from the one we want them to.
The happiest and most successful relationships are those where each person knows that they’re free to move in whatever direction their heart desires. They feel free to pursue their goals, dreams, and desires. They feel free and comfortable to be themselves around their partner.
So, don’t settle for just anyone – wait for the one who wants to help you grow. The one who motivates you to work on yourself and broaden your knowledge of the world. The one who gives you a new perspective on life. The one that inspires you to gain new experiences and learn new things. The one who inspires you to explore the deepest parts of your soul and helps you discover what kind of life you want to lead.
Wait for the one who knows all your insecurities and fears and yet doesn’t judge you and criticize you for them. The one who doesn’t make you feel ashamed of your flaws. The one who knows that you’re not perfect but makes you feel like you are.
Wait for the one who doesn’t expect you to prove yourself to them. The one that doesn’t compare you to other women or men.
Wait for the one who lets you be yourself around them. The one who makes you feel comfortable to show them your vulnerable sides.
Wait for the one who accepts your dark sides and demons. The one who knows your deepest secrets and yet never uses them against you. The one who doesn’t make you feel ashamed of your mistakes and failures. The one who doesn’t expect you to erase your past. The one who accepts and cherishes you just the way you are.
Wait for the one who respects your boundaries. The one who respects your choices and doesn’t interfere with your decisions.
Wait for the one who is willing to learn new things about love together with you. The one who understands that relationships take hard work and that they’re never a smooth journey. The one that also knows that honest and unconditional love can conquer even the greatest problem and keep two people together even when their relationship is going through the most difficult times.
Wait for the one who doesn’t make you wonder whether you’re worthy of their attention and love. The one who knows that you’re more than good enough. The one that knows your worth.