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If You Want To Keep Your Relationship Happy And Healthy, You Have To Set Boundaries

If You Want To Keep Your Relationship Happy And Healthy, You Have To Set Boundaries

When it comes to dating, the first rule is “Set your boundaries”.

Not because you need to be afraid of what your partner will do to you, or because you have to hide your feelings, but simply because boundaries are the pillars of all successful relationships.

I get it, a lot of you out there think that boundaries are a bad thing. That having them in your relationship means that you are not ready to love someone in a real way. That you are afraid to open your heart and give into love.

But that’s not true. Boundaries are essential to healthy and happy relationships and therefore to a happy life. Even though they sound frightening, they are nothing but a fine line between your relationship and you as an individual separate from your relationship.

Always remember: Your life is your life. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.

Below are 7 signs that you might be involved with a partner who does not respect your boundaries:

1. They don’t give you enough space. They refuse to let you do things on your own. So much that they wouldn’t even let you take a breather alone. Whatever you’re doing, they have to be included.

2. They act overly protective of you. They treat you like a child, even though you are perfectly aware of what you need and what you want in life. You can handle yourself and you can handle anything that comes your way.

3. They don’t care about your opinion. They don’t take you seriously. They simply refuse to take your ideas into consideration. Because their ideas are always much more innovative and interesting. Not being validated by the one you hold dear is a clear sign that this person does not belong in your life.

4. They are always blaming you for everything going wrong. Because who else could they blame if not you? If this is the case with your partner, I want you to know that you are not to blame. You are not responsible for the way they feel. Much less for the consequences of their (in)actions.

5. You are constantly doubting yourself because of them. It is their toxicity that takes your strength away. Their frightening need for power and control that makes you think that you are not enough. Well, you are enough. For people like them, you are more than enough. Keep yourself away from everything and everyone that makes you think you are less.

6. They force you to say yes to things that you don’t want to do. When a loved one pushes you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing and top of that, makes you feel guilty about saying refusing them, that is a big sign that there is something wrong with your love story. Your boundaries should be accepted and respected.  

7. They want you all to themselves. So much that if they could, they would probably make the whole world vanish just so they could have you in the palm of their hands and possess you forever. It’s just the two of you. And it feels as though it’s going to be the two of you forever. Until the end of time. This is not the way a relationship should work.

Stephanie Reeds