We can all be negative and have disagreements and arguments every once in a while in our relationships, both romantic and otherwise. Because relationships are not a smooth journey. In fact, they can be quite difficult and painful sometimes. However, we all need to be able to identify when normal behaviors turn into toxic and say, “This is it, I’ve had enough of this.”
Just because we invest time and energy in the relationships that mean to us and we do everything in our power to nurture and maintain them, it doesn’t mean that we should be willing to overlook certain behaviors. Because sometimes the behaviors we tend to justify and overlook are toxic. They’re detrimental to our well-being.
They can make us doubt our own perceptions and logic. They can shatter our confidence and threaten our dignity. They can suck the energy and happiness out of us.
So, if you want to protect yourself from all of this and if you’re trying to build a happy, peaceful, and fulfilling life for yourself, then make sure you never put up with the following toxic behaviors.
Here they are:
1. Control.
Control can come in all shapes and sizes. When a person tries to impose their own opinions and ideas on you, or when they don’t allow you to express your interests, likes, and dislikes, or when they ask you to dress, talk, or behave in a certain way that suits them, or when they gaslight you and do everything in their power to make you think you have a wrong perception of reality, these are all forms of control.
If you notice that someone is trying to exert control and power on you, make sure you stand up for yourself and let them know that you have no intention of tolerating their behavior.
2. Name-calling.
Whether it’s forgetting a friend’s birthday, or saying to a loved one something hurtful that you didn’t really mean, or forgetting to pick up your dry cleaning, we all make mistakes. But, when a person that you hold dear uses a little mistake which you’ve made to begin listing all of your flaws and past mistakes, that’s nothing but verbal abuse.
What you need to remember is that those who genuinely love you and care about you will never try to emphasize your weaknesses and flaws or judge you for them. Instead, they’ll do their best to help you overcome your flaws and put right your mistakes.
3. Excessive negativity.
Throughout the course of your life, you meet 2 kinds of people: those that make you feel good about yourself and that bring joy and a sense of fulfillment into your life and those who drain your energy and feed your mind with negative thoughts.
The latter, i.e. people who ooze negativity, can be detrimental to your emotional and mental health and disruptive to your growth.
4. Lack of compassion.
Life is tough, so there’s no need to make it more difficult by surrounding yourself with individuals that aren’t capable of feeling compassion and empathy. Individuals who aren’t capable of treating others with kindness and respect. Individuals that have no regard for other people’s feelings and needs.
5. Threatening.
If you know someone that shows this kind of behavior, then you know that they often use phrases, such as, “If you don’t give me the amount of money I need, I’m going to tell everyone about …” (which is usually some secret of yours that you wouldn’t want to share with anyone).
This behavior is extremely toxic since not only it can damage your self-esteem, it can also be highly damaging to your emotional and mental health.
6. Scapegoating.
People who are selfish, manipulative, and deceitful never take responsibility for their actions. They can make hundreds of mistakes and say hurtful things to you countless times, but they’ll never admit it or apologize to you for it. Instead, they’ll do everything in their power to lay the blame at your door and make you feel responsible for things you’ve never done.
