True intimacy is much more than sharing your body. Being truly intimate with someone means having someone with whom you can share your soul.
It is easy to find a lover. There are many men and women out there who want nothing more than physical intimacy and the feeling of being next to someone. They find pleasure in the first touch, the first kiss, the first night together… If you want something casual then finding someone is easy.
However, for me, the mere act of being physically intimate with someone is not enough. I want someone with whom I can share more than just my body. I want to share my soul.
I want to have a best friend as a lover.
I want to be able to cry my eyes out in front of them and still feel comfortable and beautiful. I want to have someone who will pull me back to them in the morning and kiss me immediately after waking up. I want morning breath kisses and messy hair. I want cuddling and breakfast in bed.
I want to go to watch football with them, drinking beer and laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt. I want to watch the spark in their eyes and them grabbing my hand every time their team scores. I want us to be truly comfortable with one another.
I want us to travel together. I want to try exotic and delicious meals and watch the sunsets together. I want to get lost in another country with them, wandering the streets and holding hands. I want to share all the good and bad moments with them, everything.
Other times I don’t want to leave our couch. I want to Netflix and chill with them in pajamas. I want us to eat snacks all day, no dinner, no lunch. Just snacks and really amazing TV shows.
I want to watch them fall asleep and miss them when they are not awake.
I want us to sit cross-legged and talk about everything and nothing at the same time.
I want to accidentally burn the dinner so that we could go out and eat pizza instead while accidentally getting a little bit drunk with wine. I want us sitting on the same side of the booth because sitting across the table it’s just too much distance between us.
I want to receive funny texts from them and have a smile on my face the whole day.
I want to meet his family and him to meet mine. I want us to have a family on our own. I want to build a future with them.
I want to laugh with them, cry with them, being silly with them, celebrate successes with him, and endure whatever life puts on our path together, holding hands.
I want my lover to be my person, my partner-in-crime, my best friend.