There are days when the memory of you comes flashing back to me. When I can only think about the good times we shared and I can’t help but feel your absence once again. But I stop myself. Because I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole again. I’ve been there. I was missing you and longing for you when I should have been focusing on myself and healing myself instead.
Sometimes the only thing I want is to find a way to block you entirely from my heart and my memory because a part of me still craves you and I am afraid that I may never get over you. I still miss you even though I don’t want you back.
Therefore, I let myself indulge in the memories of you with the hope that my feeling for you will eventually go away and I will be able to love again. I know that I will someday. I will find what I am looking for. I will teach my heart that you are not the only one and I will be free again.
Because I really believe deep down that two people no matter how much they love each other can become toxic to one another. I know that without any reason love can turn into a terrible monster that keeps you bounded and doesn’t allow you to grow. I truly think that sometimes love can hide truths about your loved one. It can and it will hurt you.
But the most important thing I’ve learned is that the most powerful love that there is is the love of self.
Because of me loving myself and taking care of myself, I know that regardless of all the pain I am going through, even though I suffer terribly, I will never get back with you. My mind is clear, and I know that missing you is normal, and it will pass someday. Even though I miss you I don’t want you back in my life.
I learned how to love myself more since you left. I take better care of myself. Our breakup was the turning point that made me realize all this and thank you for that. Thank you for making me realize my worth and be kind and loving to myself.
So this is me saying, ‘I miss you, but I don’t want us to get back together.”
Should you have any questions or would like to ask me for advice or hear my opinion on a topic that is important to you, don’t hesitate to send me an email to [email protected] and I’ll be happy to help you.