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I Don’t Want To Be Your Everything – Loving You Doesn’t Mean That I Have To Love Myself Less


Tell me…how do you define love?

Some people are desperate to find someone who will be their happily ever after. They live to meet the person of their dreams, the one who will quickly become their everything in life.

The one who will hold them in the palm of their hand. The one who will keep them safe and love them unconditionally until their last dying breaths. The one who won’t be able to imagine their life without them. The one who will be lost without them.

I cannot lie, the innocent, naive kid inside of me used to crave this version of love.

But, as I grew older, the mature and strong woman in me started to see things a bit differently.

Let me tell you why.

As years went by, I realized that I cannot possibly fall in love with a man that I didn’t respect. That being said, I couldn’t even respect a man I did not admire in the first place.

I was fascinated by wanderers, free spirits, artists, deep thinkers. People who lived life to the fullest without having a single regret of their previous steps. People who knew how to capture the beauty of the present moment. People who strived to become a better version o themselves.

In a nutshell… men who believed in a different kind of love. True, unconditional, liberating love.

These men never wanted to be my everything, nor did I want to be their happily ever after. And that if you ask me, that was exactly why i fell for them.

Why you’d ask?

Because to me, love isn’t about being worshiped. There’s nothing divine or romantic about worshiping someone. People who love to possess and idolize other human beings are usually people with fragile egos and a bundle of insecurities. If that isn’t enough for you, then you should know that they dare to call that love.

I don’t want to be your everything if everything means placing me on top of your passions and dreams in life. Call me silly, but I could never fall in love with a man that has nothing else besides me in their life. I would never be happy with someone who loves me more than he loves himself.

But, that is probably because I’d never love anyone more than I love myself.

See, I don’t want to be constantly admired and worshiped. That to me isn’t love. I want to be challenged. I don’t want to be needed, I want to be chosen. Every day all over again.

I don’t want to be the person who will fix you, make you feel complete. I want to be the perfect addition to an already whole, happy and blissful person.

I don’t want to be the shelter where you could hide your insecurities. I just want to be your motivation to dream bigger and be better.

I don’t want to guide and teach you, I also want to learn from you.

I don’t want to be your world, I want to be a part of your own world you’ve created for yourself.

I don’t need to be your everything to know that you love me. Because loving another doesn’t mean that we should love ourselves less. In fact, if you ask me, that is nothing more than simple infatuation.

Our purpose in life is not about being another person’s soulmate.

Believe me, we’re much more than just that.

Stephanie Reeds