One friend of mine came to my house. We had lunch and we talked about everything. Then my partner said that he is going to wash the dishes. My friend looked at him as he told that he is going to fly to space.
Then, he said to me: “I am glad that he helps you. I don’t help my wife. I tried to help her once, but she didn’t praise me. She didn’t even say thank you.”
I took the liberty then to explain to him that my partner doesn’t help me. I don’t need help, I need a partner. I strongly believe that partners should function together and be equals, so I don’t consider doing the household chores as a help.
He doesn’t help me clean the house because it is his house too. He lives in it, and he needs to clean it as well.
He doesn’t help me to wash and fold the clothes, he does it because there are his clothes also.
He doesn’t help me cook, because we are a team, and we both want to eat delicious meals that we both cook.
He doesn’t help me wash the dishes after we eat, he does the dishes because he too uses those dishes.
He is not a help at home, he is a part of our home.
Then, I asked my friend when was the last time that he thanked his wife after she finished cleaning the house, changing the bed sheets, washing the laundry, cooking, organizing, bathing the kids etc. And not just a regular ‘thank you,’ but a full appreciation of the type: “Wooow honey! You are the best! I am so lucky to have you in my life!”
“Aren’t you a little contradictive? You expect her to thank you and glorify you when you cleaned the floor once, but you don’t appreciate her everyday housework. What’s with those double standards?
“Maybe it’s that macho culture that made you think that everything in the house should be the woman’s job. That all that work must be done without you lifting a finger. Well, my friend, you are wrong.”
If you want to be a real man, praise her as you want to be praised. Give her a hand. Be her true companion, not someone who just comes to eat and sleep there. That’s your home too.
Image: Maureen Dai