Love… Oh, love. It is truly one of the most beautiful and most extraordinary experiences in life.
But lately, I’ve been thinking about something. Yes, we are creatures that need connections to survive. Yes, we are human beings who have emotions and feel everything deeply. But there is something wrong about the whole concept of finding love.
We put so much accent on falling in love, finding our other half, settling in relationships that we forget about ourselves. We forget that the happiness we are desperate to find in someone else is only within ourselves.
I am my own best example.
All my life, I thought that love is the answer to everything I was searching for. I was so wrapped up in pursuing a good relationship that I rarely thought about myself. I was convinced that being in love and finding that other half is the greatest joy in life. That there is nothing more important than having someone beside you. Someone who would believe in you and always support you, no matter what.
So, I gave my heart too many times. I was always with someone, desperately trying to find the remaining piece of my puzzle. I longed to be in someone’s embrace. I longed to feel wanted. I longed to dream of a wonderful future with someone beside me.
But even though, most of those experiences were truly wonderful… The truth is, I was too afraid to be alone. It took me some time to find the courage and admit that to myself. But I did it.
So, here I am.
I am officially done looking for someone to complete my life.
All I need in this life is happiness.
I am no longer chasing someone. I have my own dreams I have to focus on.
I am no longer bending over backwards to find someone who will hold me in their arms.
I am no longer looking for a connection with someone else. I need to focus on finding myself.
I am no longer searching for perfection. I don’t need someone to glue up all my broken pieces together. I will do that myself.
I am no longer looking for love. I need happiness. And that happiness is within me.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against being in a relationship and falling in love. I just feel that right now I need to focus on finding myself first. I don’t want to make romance a priority. This doesn’t mean that I am pushing people away, it just means that I need time to work on myself in order to become the woman I was always meant to become.
I no longer want to chase love and relationships. I want to chase happiness and find out what makes my heart smile. I want to experience life in all its splendor. I want to be happy on my own. I want to be comfortable with being alone. I want to be enough for myself.