I’ve been through many heartbreaks in my life. Enough for me to lose hope in ever finding a normal person. Enough for me to stop believing in love. And enough for me to start building walls around me.
Walls higher than your eyes can see. Walls that provide me with the comfort that I’ve always needed. Walls that keep me safe from people who want to hurt me and break my heart to a million pieces.
So, yes, I am guarded.
I am guarded because I am too afraid to open up and let another person in my life.
I am guarded because I am anxious about meeting new people and opening my heart to them.
I am guarded because I know how it feels to be there for someone and love them deeply, but never get the same thing in return.
I am guarded because the thought of going back to that horrible state of despair and disappointment gives me chills.
I am guarded because no person has ever protected me the way I protect myself.
I am guarded because I’ve put my trust in many people who have taken it for granted.
I am guarded because I am tired of giving second chances and regretting them all of my life.
I am guarded because I can no longer put everyone else’s needs before my own.
I am guarded because I’ve been hurt in ways that you couldn’t even imagine.
I am guarded because only I can truly take care of myself.
I am guarded because I cannot keep living in a fear that someone will harm me once again.
I am guarded because I deserve to live a peaceful and happy life.
I am guarded because right now there is no place I would rather be than far away from the people’s selfishness.
I am guarded because I need time to heal my wounds.
I am guarded because I cannot condemn myself to a life of pain and misery.
I am guarded because honestly, I’ve lost hope that I will ever find someone who will truly be there for me.
I am guarded because I no longer trust anyone.
I am guarded because I’ve chosen to be that way.
So, yes… There are many reasons why my walls are so high. But there are even more reasons why it will take you a lot more effort and time to bring them down and get close to me.