Healing is a process. It doesn’t happen in one night. It takes time, energy, tears, giving up, and starting all over again. Healing is knowing that not all things are meant to work, and not all people are meant to stay.
Yes, it’s an easy thing to say, but a very difficult thing to do, especially if your emotions are involved.
By being torn between what I know is right for me, and what I want to be right but is not, I got stuck in this limbo and I can’t find my way out. All I want is to go back to a calmer time, a time when everything was different. When I still believed in a bright future, having someone I love by my side. Now, I’ve realized that the only steps going into my imagined future are mine.
I know that I will need some time to heal, but I am determined to do it.
Maybe you’ve noticed me growing distant from you. Maybe you’ve noticed that I don’t reach out to you anymore and that I don’t respond to your calls and texts. Maybe you know that I am still hurting and aching for you and that’s why you want to bring me back.
I want to tell you that I am desperately trying to heal and find myself again. And I don’t allow any distractions.
As much as I love talking to you and seeing you, I know that I must be strong and pull away from you because you are not good for me. We are not good for each other. We tried. Many times. And we failed every time.
Please, don’t make it harder for me. If you notice that I’ve distanced myself from you – please, don’t call, don’t text, don’t arrive.
I’ve made my decision and you won’t change my mind. You may miss me, I get it. I miss you too. But for the first time, I have to be selfish and focus only on myself and my wellbeing.
I am growing distant from you because I’ve learned the hardest lesson. And that is that you can’t force things in life to happen the way you want them to. You can’t force someone to love you the way you like to be loved. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is desperately going back and trying to heal a relationship that was broken long ago instead of healing yourself and letting go.