“Two twin boys were raised by an alcoholic father. One grew up to be an alcoholic and when asked what happened, he said, ‘I watched my father.’ The other grew up and never drank in his life. When he was asked what happened, he said, ‘I watched my father.’ Two boys, same dad, two different perspectives. Your perspective in life will determine your destiny.” – Kirk Franklin
That’s right. The power lies in you. You have to decide whether you will develop an addiction or not. And people who say that their grandfather and dad had an addiction and so it is inevitable that they will struggle with addiction as well are only making excuses for themselves.
I and my brother grew up with an alcoholic dad and none of us have an addiction. It is always your choice. It is your life and you need to design it according to what you believe is right. So, are you ready to step up and get out of the victim mentality that you have no choice?
Your family’s problems don’t need to be your own. You don’t have to endure the pain that your family went through. Even though the cycle of addiction is hard to break it is not impossible. You just have to be willing to break it. Your family history doesn’t define your destiny. It doesn’t define your personality.
Every day, you make a choice: either you choose to move forward or backward. And while you may not be able to help the one you love heal from their addiction, you are in total control of the impact it has on you. You can either choose their path filled with addictions or you can learn from their mistakes and choose the path of healing.
You may feel embarrassed by your family, you may feel hurt, and angry. However, you can turn those negative emotions into stepping stones toward the path of your happiness.
As Carl Jung said, “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”