“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try themselves and those who are afraid that you will succeed.”
– Ray Goforth
Unfortunately in today’s world, there is too much negativity, there are too many people who are either afraid to take the risk to find their own happiness, or they will try everything to stop others of succeeding in their path.
I believe that each of us, once in a while, bump into such negative people that we don’t know even how to behave around them.
And the worst part is that most of the time these negative people come from our closest family and friends. It’s not that we don’t have someone at our workplace who is always gossiping, complaining and plays the victim when given the opportunity, but this is at work.
When we are done working, we simply leave the place and concentrate on the beautiful time that we’ll spend with our family. But believe me, nothing is more painful than having someone who is close to you, constantly repeating to you that whatever you do, whatever you try, you won’t succeed.
And you cannot escape from these people so easily. You remain there since that is your home too, where should you go? You cannot move out if you don’t have any means. And after a while being stuck in such a place you start believing in their negativity, believing that their words to be true.
They actually begin to consume you into their negative world where everything is dark, cold and where no sun doesn’t shine, ever!
Each day I see people giving up on their dreams just because someone else said that they couldn’t succeed. And I have a message to those negative people to stop demoralizing others!
And another message to those who are trapped in a magical circle together with these energy drainers – please do not give away your dreams so they could crash them before your very eyes! (1)
When we are surrounded by negative people the first thing that pops in your head is to walk away, just walk away and don’t give them any of your precious time and attention.
But as I said before, this is more easily said that done, because sometimes we cannot just leave, especially when you live with such a person. So the question now is how to deal with them and their negativity? First of all, one must not judge.
Now, some might say: “how come, they judge me and others too!” But you shouldn’t jump into conclusions as they do about others and everything else.
Just look at them, they aren’t very happy by doing this, so you won’t be either. You should always have in mind that their negativity had to emerge from somewhere, because in essence people are good and happy.
Thus if a person is unhappy and negative, something in their life must have gone wrong. And this is why you should first examine the “why” of their negativity, because this could be a big cry for help. Nevertheless, don’t forget that there are people who are simply negative and mean.
And they will try to pull you down with them just because they have failed to be happy. These people seek company for their misery, but you shouldn’t be such a victim-friend. Never ever allow someone to drag you down, or to chase away your dreams.
Here are some positive thoughts and attitude changes you could do for your Self, so as to be able to stand up and respond adequately to the negativism of others.
1.Be patient – when there is no escape and when you are tired of constantly running away from the person that drains your energy, you should remain patient.Learning the “art of patience” can help you to deal peacefully with all the stress that comes from others and it will save you, because no harmful and negative thoughts could ever rise into a patient and observing mind.
2. See the positive side of the situation – meaning that you must find your own lesson in the whole situation when you are trapped with a negative person. Maybe you two are more alike than you admit to yourself, so this can be an “eye opening” situation.
3. Be compassionate – try to find and understand the source of the whole negativity that the person pours down on you. It must come from somewhere, some place inside this person must be very damaged. Try to help them or only to understand them for the sake of your own peace of mind.
4. Be self-analyzing – see why the words they say hurt you in the first place. Seek into your own characteristics why do you feel so taken by their negativity. If you were balanced and positive as you thought you were, nothing of what they say could ever hurt you.
5. Try to help – only if asked, you could offer your own opinion to the problem and try to ménage things out. When you relate to their pain, to the ones that constantly complain, to those who are negative all the time, you could be able to offer some help or guidance so they can start looking within and stop searching the reasons of their own unhappiness in others.
Always remember that you shouldn’t speak your mind in attempt to change theirs, this will only lead to more negativity.
Be patient and compassionate and speak in such a way that your words could help them realize that there is also a good side to life and they could try to enjoy it if they become positive for a change. (2)