In an ideal world all of our relationships would be perfectly healthy and balanced. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world and many relationships have unhealthy power dynamics which can lead to all manner of conflict and misery.
If you are feeling as though you have lost all power in your relationship and you would like to regain some of the balance, then this is the article for you. We’re going to talk about the healthy ways in which you can take back the power in your relationship.
1. Be honest
The best way to feel comfortable around your partner is by being assertive. Rather than just ignore an issue altogether and bury your feelings you need to be honest about them. Granted, this is much easier said than done, however, you need to try. What’s the worst that can happen? They reveal their true colours and deflect any attempt at having an honest and open conversation with them. In which case, it may be time to move on altogether.
2. Don’t be afraid to feel your feelings
You need to feel your feelings if you are to truly understand what is going on in your relationship. Your emotions are designed to give you little clues as to how you are feeling in life and if you ignore and deny them, your relationship will suffer for it.
3. Focus on your choices
It can be easy to blame your partner for everything but it’s important to self-reflect and examine your decisions as well. Could it be that the power dynamic in your relationship is off balance because you have allowed it to go that way? It can be a painful process, but by looking at all of the decisions that have led to where you are in a relationship, you will be better positioned to start working toward a healthier balance. (1)
4. Know your worth
Everyone struggles with self-esteem. Well, the majority of us do anyway. But in order for you to take some power back in your relationship you need to know your worth and recognise that you are a valuable human who deserves happiness.
5. Experiment with some role-play in the bedroom
Just because it may feel like your partner has all of the power at the moment it doesn’t mean that it needs to stay that way. Nor does it mean that your partner is happy with being in control all of the time either. Some people assume the more dominant position in a relationship because the other person is uncertain and rarely takes the initiative. So, why not get some BDSM gear and role-play in the bedroom. If you fantasise about being in control, then have some fun and dominate them – you never know where it might lead!
6. Put energy into changing the things that make you unhappy
There’s no good wallowing in your unhappiness. If you are unsatisfied in your relationship, then you need to focus your energy into changing the things that make you feel unhappy. Yes, you need to talk about it with your partner and they must take ownership of their share of the responsibility, but if it is you that feels unhappy then it is up to you to lead the charge.