In the course of life, we meet all kinds of people. Some are kind, honest, compassionate, and positive, and it feels nice having them around. And others are manipulative, selfish, mean and able to suck all the energy out of you as soon as you start talking to them.
Of course, the previous paragraph doesn’t mention all behaviors people display (that’s certainly not the aim of this article). Yet, there’s one type of people that can be found everywhere around you and that’s looked down upon and it shouldn’t – the a*sholes.
Yes, that’s right – being an a*shole is a personality trait that shouldn’t be looked down upon. In fact, being an a*shole is an important life skill.
By “being an a*shole,” I mean a willingness to upset others and/or to be disliked. As we’ll see, sometimes being mean to someone or just being willing to treat someone in that way is a necessity not only for ourselves but for the greater good too.
A*sholes Run The World
Let’s take a look at the way a*sholes behave in the world of business. For example, imagine this situation: you have two sides of a very important business deal which will potentially bring a lot of money to both sides and which is also good for everyone who is not involved in it.
Now, let’s say that one side is willing to upset the other one and the other isn’t. So, how is this all going to end? Well, this doesn’t require a lot of thinking: the a*shole is going to push to the full extent of their capabilities and this perseverance and motivation will gradually wear the other side down and eventually cause them to give up. And, of course, the a*shole won’t care whether their behavior will cause the other side to dislike them.
The whole situation is going to result in a deal that greatly favors the … yes, you guessed it – the a*shole.
So, now you see how being an a*shole in situations that involve serious risks can be highly advantageous. Because sometimes it’s good for your boss to think you’re an a*shole since it shows them that you’re highly committed to your work and that you can greatly benefit their company.
Sometimes it’s good for your close friends to think you are kind of a dick because it shows them that they can believe you, confide in you, and rely on you for whatever they need.
And when it comes to your love life, have you ever tried breaking up with someone while not breaking their heart? Yes, it’s impossible. Well, that’s why individuals who don’t belong to the category of a*sholes end up staying in poor, toxic relationships for much longer than they should.
Being an a*shole is a skill that’s looked down upon because it’s considered unpleasant and rude. But it’s also a skill that the world needs – of course, assuming that the a*shole is an ethical person.
How To Be An Ethical A*shole
Yes, you read it right – an ethical a*shole. They do exist. In fact, they are the only thing that protects us from the selfish, manipulative, and inconsiderate a*sholes.
If you’re someone who doesn’t belong to the uncelebrated category of a*sholes, i.e. you’re agreeable, you need to practice the skill of being an a*shole so as to protect yourself from all the immoral, mean people around you that would take advantage of you as soon as the first opportunity knocks on their door.
Here’s how you can do that:
1. Decide what matters more than people’s feelings.
If you let your life be dictated by feelings, both your own feelings and others’, then know that you’re very likely to end up stuck in a sh*thole for good.
The key to becoming willing to upset others is to understand what matters more than upsetting them. For example, would you break someone’s heart to save a family member who is on their deathbed? What about to help your best friend? What about to protect your career?
To become an ethical a*shole you must find a good cause that’s beyond your own interests. Having such a cause is what distinguishes ethical a*sholes from unethical ones.
2. Get good at feeling bad.
Most people that are too kind believe they are kind because they respect and care a lot about others’ feelings. They avoid telling other people the truth when they know that it will make them feel bad.
But they don’t want to tell others the truth because they’ll make themselves feel bad. They’ll feel awful for that person and they can’t stand to feel this way themselves.
When you get good at feeling bad, you will also become okay at hurting other people’s feelings when that’s necessary.
3. Be painfully honest.
I’m sure you’ve often found yourself in that situation where you try to sugarcoat a harsh or painful truth or even avoid saying it because you know that there’s a chance you’ll hurt someone’s feelings by saying it.
Well, here’s a great rule you might try following when you find yourself in such a situation again: If there is something unpleasant or painful that you think is essential to say, just say it. Because chances are that in the long run, you as well as other people will be happy you said it.
The first few times you behave in this way, it’ll feel bad. But once those around you start giving you positive feedback, you’ll begin feeling more comfortable being an a*shole. And those surrounding you will think you are awesome.