How many times have you let someone’s behavior hurt your feelings? How many times have you allowed someone’s harsh words to make you feel weak and unimportant? How many times have you allowed your partner to make you feel like a worthless sh*t? How many times have you diagnosed yourself with depression?
Well, let me tell you something: You are not weak. You are not stupid. You are not worthless. And you are certainly not depressed.
You are just surrounded by a*sholes.
Such people exist only to put others down and, to be honest, there is nothing you can do to change them since that’s the way they are. It’s in their nature to be manipulative, selfish, and inconsiderate and to take advantage of other people’s kindness. And more often than not, they’re not even aware of it.
So, if you’re surrounded by people that match the following three characteristics, then know that the problem is not your depression – but them:
1. A*sholes Are Content With Their Stupidity
And when I say ‘stupid’ I don’t refer to unintelligent. Regardless of a person’s academic, social, and cultural background, no one can know everything about everything. For example, I know nothing about kickboxing, except that it’s sometimes thrilling to watch on TV for a change. Yet, I don’t go around and teach people about it.
On the other hand, a*sholes do this all the time. Knowing nothing about kickboxing, or other sports, or you name it, doesn’t stop them from enlightening others as if they were the smartest in the entire world.
2. A*sholes Are Selfish
By ‘selfish’, I don’t mean self-caring. Because taking care of your feelings, needs, and priorities and treating yourself with kindness, respect, and dignity is a wonderful thing and something that you owe to yourself.
A*sholes, on the other hand, are selfish. They disregard other people’s feelings and opinions and they care just about their own. Oftentimes, they even make fun of other people’s opinions, ideas, and values so as to make themselves appear smarter and better than everyone else.
3. A*sholes Are Rude And Loud
Have you ever met an a*shole that is well-mannered, quiet, or even shy? Me neither. Most a*sholes are not interested in holding a proper, meaningful, stimulating conversation.
All they want is to dominate the conversation. They do this by shouting, invading your personal space, and bragging about their achievements, great career, and amazing relationships.
While some a*sholes are not aware that they’re doing this, others are perfectly well aware of it and do it on purpose to intimidate and put others down.
So, how come a*sholes make us feel depressed?
Because most of us are genuinely nice and taught to treat others well. We respect others and value their opinions regardless of how different they are from our own. We sympathize with other people’s pain and selflessly offer our help to those who need it.
And those who belong to the category of a*sholes take advantage of these qualities and make us feel naïve and stupid for being nice. They see this as a weakness and make us doubt ourselves and our values and principles.
And this gradually shatters our self-esteem that further leads to intense feelings of sadness, depression, mental fatigue, and hopelessness.
Here’s what you can do to help and heal yourself:
There’s no chance you can save yourself from a*sholes – they are everywhere around you. They can be found among your co-workers, your friends, your partners, and even among members of your family.
The first thing you need to do so as to protect yourself from their negative and damaging influence is to be always honest with yourself and see people for who they really are. Once you begin identifying all the a*sholes around you, you’ll also start regaining your self-esteem and healing yourself.
The next thing you need to do is take action. Even if the a*shole is a close friend or even a family member, and even if you can’t do anything to change that, you can always choose to distance yourself from them, or at least limit their presence in your life.
And finally, begin taking care of and loving yourself. Develop healthy eating habits, get enough sleep every day, and do the things that fill you with happiness. And, of course, don’t allow any a*shole to destroy the amazing relationship that you have with yourself.