I have always been someone who when I got attached to someone, I was terrified of losing them. I have always associated the words ‘breaking up’ and ‘ending’ with immense amounts of pain and suffering. Ending things with someone meant a time of misery and another type of trauma and heartbreak.
That’s why I was always holding on tightly to the people I loved. I was doing everything in my power to make sure that what we have doesn’t end. I was constantly avoiding failure and saying goodbye.
However, with time, I started to look at endings differently. I learned that they don’t always mead goodbyes, deaths, or failures. They don’t always have to bring pain and suffering. I learned that sometimes endings open new doors of opportunities because they close old doors that are not leading us anywhere. Endings can be a good thing because they force us to change something about ourselves and our life, they force us to find a new job, a new home, a new lover, new friends…
I am also still learning to let things run its course and end them when it’s time instead of wasting my time trying to heal them and give life to a broken connection.
I am learning to embrace endings and see them as a part of my life instead of seeing them as failures. I am learning to cherish the memories and not try to relieve the pain. Because I know that it is better for me to end things with people with whom I don’t have future instead of torturing myself by holding onto the toxicity of the relationship.
I am learning that some things need to end for better things to come. Some people and things only enter our lives to teach us something and then they are supposed to leave, and we should let them. Because endings are necessary and are pathways to new beginnings. They are healing and safe. They are not as terrifying as we tend to see them.
Because there is so much love, hope, and freedom in endings. They can be blessings if we see them as such.