When I was a little girl, I had a dream of becoming a lawyer. I’ve always had this vision in my head that being an adult and having your life together is something that we should all do before the age of 30.
So, every time I sat in my garden, I dreamed of these fairytale scenarios. My mind would wander off and I would think about becoming an adult, finding a good job, falling in love, getting married, having kids, buying a home and building my dream house.
I didn’t have the slightest idea of how I will be able to do those things. Everything my childish mind back then knew was that regardless of where fate takes me, there will come a time when everything will fall into place and my life will finally have meaning.
But then something else happened. As I grew older, I begin to notice that my childhood visions were not really going according to my plans. As the years passed by, I changed. What I wanted to be as a kid was something I no longer I wanted to be when I turned 18 years old. I didn’t have a serious relationship by the age of 25, nor did I got married by the age of 27.
The more this journey unraveled in front of my eyes, I begin to realize that the things I once dreamed of are long gone and forgotten.
So, here I am. I am 29 years old and I am miles away from where I thought I’d be years ago. I am in a completely different direction in life.
As I said, I’m changed. I finished law school, but I decided not to pursue a career in the legal field. I decided to follow my passion instead. I am not married. I don’t have children. I am making a decent amount of money, but not enough to buy myself a house and start living my independent life.
I am not quite sure who I really am, but I know that at least, I am working on it. In all honesty, it is not like these things aren’t affecting me. I may seem like I’ve got it all under control, but in my mind, there is a thunderstorm. Yes, I’ve changed my priorities, but deep down I sometimes feel like I’m failing somewhere.
But you know what? That’s fine.
Who said that you should have everything figured out in life before you reach a certain age? Who said that I need to know what I want to be when I grow up?
Why can’t I be everything? What can possibly hold me back?
Look, life shouldn’t be a competition. It shouldn’t make us feel like we are supposed to do something. It shouldn’t force us to do things a certain way. It should flow the way we want to. And, believe me. You are not a failure if you’ve chosen to do things at your own pace and in your own time. You are not a failure if you need more time than everyone else. It’s totally okay if you’re not where you thought you’d be in life right now.
Breathe. You will get there.
What you need to do though, is to stop letting others shame you for where you are right now. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything you do. The only person who can hold yourself accountable for your life is you. Only you. Try to get that through your head.
Yes, people are constantly working hard on themselves, evolving, bettering themselves. And yes, it is hard to see everyone growing when you feel that you’re stagnating.
But that is their own journey. Every single one of these people faces certain obstacles that you know nothing of. And every single one of them decides to deal with those issues in their own way. You will never know what goes on behind their closed doors.
So, listen to me.
Give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up. Hush those loud insecurities inside your mind and let them know that you’re doing your best. But, be completely honest with yourself. Even if you’re not doing your best. Be brave and admit that you need more time. Accept the fact that you’re not where you wanted to be a few years ago and find the courage to change your journey if you feel like it.
It’s time to stop associating ages with accomplishments and start doing what makes you genuinely happy.
