Home Love & Relationships Fall In Love When You’re Ready, Not When You Need Someone To...

Fall In Love When You’re Ready, Not When You Need Someone To Fill The Hole In Your Heart


I’ve been in love. I know how it feels to truly love another human being. I know how it is to devote yourself to the person laying naked beside you. I know exactly how sweet and all-consuming love is.

Unfortunately, I’ve also been to the other side of the love spectrum. So, I am aware of how bitter love can sometimes be…

He was my one true love. The only person I’ve truly loved in my life. The tide to my ocean. His arms were the warmest, coziest, most loving shelter that protected me from the world. His eyes were the most beautiful things that I’ve ever seen. His heart beat for mine. Or so I thought…

Because, one day, out of the blue everything I knew changed and suddenly I was left with nothing but my shattered heart. You cannot even imagine how hard it was for me to keep moving forward. I was completely crushed. My soul couldn’t stop mourning and crying. My body was too exhausted from the sorrow inside of me. My emotional baggage was too heavy to carry it on my own.

So, I did what most people do. I started looking for love in order to fill the huge, painful hole inside my heart. Instead of waiting for my scars to heal, I tried to put a bandage on them and pretend that I’m fine.

That was one of my greatest mistakes in life. My biggest lesson. And that is the reason why I am writing this article.

Accepting the fact that you are all alone in this world and learning to live without someone are very difficult experiences. Especially when that someone has been your entire life for quite a long time.

I know exactly how gut-wrenching the pain of letting go is. I’ve been through that horror. But that is a phase we all must endure in order to heal and carry on. It is inevitable to face the consequences and embrace the pain just as we embrace every other emotion. You must grow through what you go through. Otherwise, you won’t have the knowledge, nor the strength to move onto the next chapter.

A relationship that is only based on emotional need is not a relationship you want to be in.  A love breed out of loneliness is not real love. I don’t want to be the bringer of bad news, but this love will never make you happy. It will only carry your insecurities and hush your fears. After all, there’s nothing more brutal and selfish than giving someone false hope for a possible future.

That is why my advice to all of you out there is… Stay alone. I know that you are broken. But time alone will help you heal your wounds. It will be exactly what your heart and soul needs. It will give you the much-needed space to figure yourself out and discover who you truly are. It will help you find your own strength and put together all of the broken pieces of your heart. Don’t let loneliness make you its victim. Don’t let your sorrow trick you into thinking that you need someone to fill your heart. Don’t say yes to someone you cannot fully commit.

Give yourself time to heal. You have no idea how much your life will change once you find the courage to let go of everything and just be alone with yourself.

Stephanie Reeds