Nothing can prepare you for the tantrums that come along with having a toddler. When they’re babies, it’s easy to assume that crying and waking you up countless times during the night are the worst things that you’ll have to face. However, it only gets worse from there.
My son is often a nightmare when he’s around me. So, you can imagine my surprise when I found out that he was a complete delight for everyone else. What I later found out is that experts say that children behave worse around their mothers.
Tantrums Rule My Home
I love my child more than the world. He’s sweet, funny, and compassionate at heart, but sometimes he can switch. If something doesn’t go his way, he throws the most dramatic tantrums you’ll ever see.
The smallest thing can make him burst into tears or stomp off in a fit of rage. If his brother looks at him the wrong way, he’ll scream and shout. I’ve even had to deal with him dropping to the floor and screaming in the middle of the supermarket because I said that he didn’t need that Paw Patrol toothbrush.
Of all the things that he freaks out over, the word “no” is the worst of them all. If you tell him that he can’t do something or have something, he’ll explode. He’ll scream and cry until his face turns red and pound his fists into the ground. Sadly for me, there’s no way not to say “no” to a toddler who wants everything except what’s good for him.
No One Else Knows the Child I know
When my son finally started kindergarten, I was so worried. At home, he could throw up to 10 tantrums a day, so I had no idea how he would fare in a classroom with kids he didn’t know and teachers telling him what to do. Of course, I couldn’t keep him at home just because of his behavior. So, I packed his little bag, drove him there, said goodbye, and waited.
The day dragged on and I heard nothing from the school. There were no calls or texts from the teachers. No one told me that I had to come and pick him up immediately because he had turned into a demon. Because of the silence, I expected to be greeted with faces of disapproval and regret when I picked him up. That, however, isn’t what happened.
I was shocked by what the teacher told me when I came to get him after his first day. She didn’t say that he was difficult or temperamental. On the contrary, she told me that he was a “delight” and a joy to have in class.
They Save the Worst For Us
If my son really was as well behaved as they had said, then why does he act the way that he does around me? According to child psychologist, Dr. Heather Wittenberg, “Children save their best — and worst — for us, as parents. They’re their ‘true selves’ with us.”
This means that we see the face of our child that no one else ever sees. We see both the good and the bad. Although it’s hard to deal with the tantrums and screaming, it means that we get to see their most loving and funny sides too. As Wittenberg puts it, “The good news is that their deepest love, affection, admiration, and goofiness are reserved for us, too.”
The myth that children only behave badly in front of their mothers isn’t quite a myth. In fact, it’s completely true. We get the brunt of all their negative emotions and we are the ones that need to deal with the stress of their anger. However, if that means that I get to see the most wonderful version of my son too, then maybe it’s not so bad.
Share this article with the mothers that you know and see if they agree that their kids are worse when they’re with them.