Home Psychology Don’t Let Fear Paralyze You – 5 Ways To Get Your Confidence...

Don’t Let Fear Paralyze You – 5 Ways To Get Your Confidence Back


Does your fear of failure make you unable to start something new? Does your low self-confidence cripple you to a point that it feels paralyzing?

If you too as many people struggle with low self-confidence, here are 5 things you can do to unchain yourself from your fears and increase your self-esteem and self-confidence in a real and natural way.

1. Break The Myth About Shyness

Being shy means you are preoccupied with yourself and feeling extremely self-conscious. You may also feel like shyness is a bad thing and being shy means you lack confidence. That’s wrong.

A research from Harvard University done in the mid-90s by leading child psychologist Dr. Jerome Kagan found that 15-20% of infants are born with what he called ‘inhibited temperament.’

These children are the ones who kick their legs when they are babies every time someone they don’t know appears. This is labeled as shyness. However, they may or may not grow up to be shy, and if they do – it’s has nothing to do with low self-confidence.

2. Put Your Weaknesses Aside

When you are not feeling good about yourself, the risk is that you perceive situations that make you feel anxious and fearful as weaknesses. Fear of public speaking, fear of job interviews, fear of going to a party when you don’t know anyone, can become more and more draining as years go by.

However, instead of remaining stuck on being hopeless and unable to deal with your weaknesses, take a detached look at your so-called weaknesses that you out under the umbrella of your lack of self-confidence.

Then, after analyzing your fears and weaknesses, ask yourself how you can turn them into strengths. Start considering all the alternatives you have. If you fear public speaking and your job requires that, then you may consider taking classes to overcome your fears and improve your presentation skills.

3. Preparation Cancels Out Low Confidence

The performers we admire the most have the guts to get up and prepare rigorously no matter what it takes. We know that Beyoncé is one of the most confident women on the earth and we also know that she is extremely hard working and rehearses relentlessly.

All great performers do that. They prepare themselves before each performance and in that way, they control their stress and eliminate the fear. For instance, Winston Churchill used to walk up and down in his room practicing out loud all those fascinating speeches before delivering them.

Being prepared is being in control.

4. Say ‘No’ To Your Fears

With some activities, confidence comes naturally to you. Just think about things that you can do easily. You might be an excellent cook, so throwing a meal together is a piece of cake for you. You can do it with your eyes closed. You are confident in that because you’ve done it a lot.

On the other hand, doing something new can be a burden for you which is understandable since it’s new, complex, and demanding. Plus, the fact that other people may depend on you will just add more stress.

Thus, you are afraid because you are smart enough to perceive the risks and dangers of the new situation. Fear gives us adrenaline which is energy, and that energy is truly a gift to us.

5. Keep Going

If you assume that other people don’t have problems like you do because they are more confident than you – stop and focus on your life instead. Because if you are driving a car, you don’t bother about how everyone else is driving, you just focus on your driving because otherwise, you may crash.

If you can progress step by step, you can let go of the need to do everything perfectly, so your fears won’t be that much paralyzing. You can finally forget about the ‘what-ifs’ and enjoy your life without setbacks.

Because the thing is, most likely you weren’t born with these crippling fears. They developed as you aged. We all begin our journey fearless when we are young because we are naïve, and then other people’s opinions and rejection crushed our confidence.

The key is to keep going, keep trying instead of avoiding the problem and give up.

Mary Wright