Home Stories Don’t Hold Back Your Tears: Crying Is A Sign Of Emotional Intelligence

Don’t Hold Back Your Tears: Crying Is A Sign Of Emotional Intelligence

crying is not weakness

People believe crying is a weakness. Me? I prefer to ignore those people and cry my heart out when I feel like it.

I don’t know which one of the above are you, but if you belong to the group of people who avoids crying out of the sheer fear that the world will see how weak and vulnerable they are, you are truly missing out, my friend. And I really mean it.

Crying is the best medicine for both your soul and your body. It’s what cleanses you and heals you from all the pain and sadness accumulated inside of you. There is no shame in doing that. There is no shame in releasing yourself from suffering. Especially not if you are doing it by expressing your emotions fully.

Because those who choose to feel everything they go through instead of avoiding the thunderstorms inside of them, are proven to be more emotionally intelligent than others. To be able to face your emotions, let them flow through you, and accept them through the act of crying is a sign that you’ve matured. That you are no longer afraid of admitting that you, too are vulnerable. That you too have a fragile soul and a heart made of flesh and blood. It takes strength, courage and most of all, it takes self-awareness.

If you don’t trust me, take a look at what Dr. Judith Orloff has to say. She’s an American board-certified psychiatrist, an empath and intuitive healer, and a bestselling author of The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People, Thriving as an Empath, and Emotional Freedom.  Her website, The Healing Power Of Tears has a lot to offer if you are interested in educating yourself on this matter.

According to her, emotional tears have special health benefits.

“Biochemist and “tear expert” Dr. William Frey at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis discovered that reflex tears are 98% water, whereas emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying. After studying the composition of tears, Dr. Frey found that emotional tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress. Additional studies also suggest that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and “feel-good” hormones,” she explains.

“Crying makes us feel better, even when a problem persists. In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart. You don’t want to hold tears back. Patients sometimes say, “Please excuse me for crying. I was trying hard not to. It makes me feel weak.” My heart goes out to them when I hear this. I know where that sentiment comes from: parents who were uncomfortable around tears, a society that tells us we’re weak for crying–in particular, that “powerful men don’t cry.” I reject these notions. The new enlightened paradigm of what constitutes a powerful man and woman is someone who has the strength and self-awareness to cry. These are the people who impress me, not those who put up some macho in front of faux-bravado.”

As I said, there is no shame in crying and letting it all out. Only in pretending to be okay when inside you are screaming. If you are someone who is going through a rough patch in life right now, know that it is okay to not be okay. You are human after all. What you feel is a part of you. And how you express it is a choice you make. But whatever you choose, know that bottling up your feelings is never the answer.

Breathe in. Cry it out and carry on. You’ll be fine. I promise.

Stephanie Reeds