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Dear Ex, Thank You For Being The Asshole You Were And Stopping Me From Marrying You


I am at a point of my life where all my girlfriends are either married or in long-term serious relationships. I am neither married nor I am in a relationship. My friends all keep telling me how sometimes they are jealous of my life and the freedom I have and sometimes I believe them because I am happy with my life.

However, there are the other times when I start feeling a little behind with my life and that I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere to be stuck in this rut. But the truth is, I AM NOT. I was in a long-term relationship that has given me nothing but pain and toxicity. I was hurt and depressed, but I became so comfortable in my own pain that I didn’t even notice how deep I have gone. That person was the one with whom I planned on getting married and having kids. I planned to spend the rest of my life with him.

And thank God I didn’t. Thank God I got out of that relationship and survived.

And since then, I have been enjoying every little thing that life has to offer. I am happy and fulfilled. I am doing things I love without having someone constantly beating my spirit down. That’s why I don’t have any regrets for breaking up with you. In fact, I am grateful for being the asshole you were and showed me your true colors before making the biggest mistake of my life.

I am grateful for never moving in with him, never marrying him, and never having his children. I may have lost many years with him, but at least now I know what I want from a relationship.

So, this goes to my ex: Thank you for being my worst and at the same time my best decision I have ever made in my life. I am forever grateful for treating me like I was disposable and taking me for granted so that I can appreciate the one who will treat me right.   

Thank you for making me realize my worth. I am so grateful to you making me realize that true love doesn’t make someone feel small and unworthy like you were making me feel. I want to thank you for opening my eyes and pushing me towards living the best life without you in it.

But most importantly, thank you for letting me go. 

Mary Wright